I was involved with a guy who definately fits the N criteria for almost 2 yrs. Last month he D'd me and it completely blindsided me. It wasn't anything specific he said, it was the angry tone (as if I had disappointed him)and his matter of fact replies. I admit, I did try to contact him. A couple of times he responded, a couple of times he ignored me. I haven't tried contacting him since earlier this month, but there are times I am desperate to because I want closure (well..truthfully I want him back)
When I first met him, I couldn't believe how lucky I was. It was an accidental meeting and the amount of attention that he showed me was intoxicating. Looking back, I've known all along that this was not sustainable, but I feel like the colors and hues of my world have darkened just a bit since his departure. I feel like I'm going through withdrawal symptoms and it simply sucks!
My therapist has stated that Ns speak in the moment. So, when they say "I love you" or "You mean so much to me" it is only in that moment (because they are commitment/intimacy phobic). It doesn't mean that they will feel the same way the next day.
I am glad to have found this site and these forums. Reading what others have said helps to keep me grounded and remember that I cannot possibly get back to what we had initially (as much as I want to).