trapped's story

I am so glad I found your site. It has taken me 18 years to figure out I was married to a narcissist. I am also very strong and compassionate. Always taken care of everyone around me. Had three kids and did OK. My fourth put me over the edge. My husband used to always accuse me of not being able to handle much. I get overwhelmed easily. Ha Ha. I'm responsible for EVERYTHING in this house. He makes the money and that is it.

He likes to tell everyone what they are supposed to be doing and then settles back and watches TV. Then after the program, yells at everyone if they haven't done what he expected done. Used to come home from work and wonder what I did all day. The house was a "pigsty" and I just couldn't get things done. He made more money in one day than I made in 2 weeks at my job. So, implying that my job wasn't important (even though it was very part time and it was something I enjoyed). I'm a bitch if I "criticize him (trying to talk to him about our problems). I can never depend on him to do anything. If he says he will and something better comes up or he thinks that kid doesn't need to do that anyway or the friend can wait another hour to get picked up, he just does it that way.

I feel so crazy sometimes.. I feel so alone sometimes. No one understands what I go through except my counselor. My husband is so nice and helpful to others when it suits him. WHen it does not, he just withdraws. He hates it when people or things take me away from him. He wants me around all the time.

I could go on and on. I need some help in this endeavor. He has done nothing biblicly to warrant my divorcing him. HELP!!

I am depressed and just trying to keep my head above water.