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Was your N physically abusive too?

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#1 Jun 10 - 8PM
Jodie
Jodie's picture

Was your N physically abusive too?

I know we all had to deal with insane amounts of emotional, verbal and psychological abuse from our N's. That goes without saying. What I've learned however, is that most are NOT physically abusive (that is typically characteristic of the Sociopath), but mine became physically abusive.

It was typically after I would break something in the house out of a rage. He was VERY materialistic and our belongings were valued above my life, so when I would break something he would physically attack me. Hold me down on the ground in submission moves (my husband is an MMA/Cage fighter). You can imagine. He tackled me once up the stairs, pulled muscles in my neck. Would drag me down the hall naked (that was after I threw his porn tapes at the wall). It was so absurd, our relationship.

One of our last encounters I was the one who abused him. I hit him so hard in the side of the head that I actually ruptured his ear drum. You know what? I don't regret it.

He says that he never hit or hurt me and that he was "only restraining me because I was a danger to myself, him, and the house." Meanwhile he's a professional fighter. He threatened me once "You'd be asleep (i.e unconscience) now b*tch!" He still, to this day, says that wasn't abusive.

Jun 11 - 10AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Jodie

I hope to heck you are OUT or GETTING OUT. He "says that wasn't abusive"? Once again - a narc who is DELUSIONAL!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
Jun 10 - 8PM
Jodie
Jodie's picture

correction

*unconscious* I meant.... he's the one who is "unconscience"

"Cry now because you lost him or cry later because you have him."

Jun 10 - 8PM
Jodie
Jodie's picture

correction

*unconscious* I meant.... he's the one who is "unconscience"

"Cry now because you lost him or cry later because you have him."

Jun 10 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
grossot
grossot's picture

I'm so sorry you had to

I'm so sorry you had to endure that Jodie. I hope you are far away from him. You are doing the right thing by educating yourself about this disorder. Did you here the show tonight? Lisa and Barbara were talking about how the N does know what he's doing but they have an uncanny ability to forget. I've experienced that as you have but not the physical abuse. Please know that we are all here. I cannot relate to all of what you are sayung. But I do know emotional abuse all too well. Please take care of yourself! nolongercontrolled

http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview

nolongercontrolled

Jun 11 - 9AM (Reply to #3)
GhostBuster
GhostBuster's picture

Potential to physically abuse

I didn't marry my N (but came darn close...called it off 3 weeks before wedding) and I was getting some signs he could be physically abusive down the road. He would "innocently" grab my arm to hard (leave a bruise), poke me too hard "playfully" and when we were contemplating whether to break up, he slammed his body into my side of the booth (and me) at a restaurant. He also was completely unsympathetic when I fell and hurt myself during a sporting activity. He did try to hurt my dog once in a rage (thankfully, he only scared the dog, didn't really hurt him). Everything I've read is that someone who could abuse animals is just a short hop away from abusing their significant other or children. Sorry you had to endure all that you did. That's just horrible!
Jun 11 - 10AM (Reply to #4)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

physical abuse

Omg Jodie, how awful...attack you?? I'm so sorry!! What a piece of scum he is...:( And it looks like you realize the last thing you mentioned was self-defense. That's what I despised about my ex, I was labled as so defensive...duh, you made me that way dork. Like you GhostBuster, mine wasn't 'obviously' PA, but he definitely danced around and dabbled in it. This was a fear that I had...the longer I stayed, the possibility of him crossing that line was always looming... He'd poke, smack my butt unexpectedly -which I hated because it always startled me, do the intimidation 'stances', show me his martial arts moves -coming within inches of striking me, showed me how to 'kill' somebody...gee thanks. I remember early on in the relationship, he did this thing with my arm (playing...uhuh sure), where he twisted it around and then pulled my thumb down...some kind of 'debilitating move' to stop someone from attacking you. It started hurting, I immediately threw a boundary up and said NO, that it hurt, and I didn't want him doing that. I'm sure he was tee'd off, but tough crap. I just wish I was able to do the same with the emotional abuse...but unfortunately, I didn't even realize that's what was happening with that until the relationship was over.