ten thousand miles
ten thousand miles
This website is so upbeat and strong compared to other places I have found on the internet. I love it! The realization that he was drawn to my strength and at the same time needed to destroy me as he got bored really makes a lot of sense to me. I'm not a victim because I'm weak but because I'm very loving, generous, bright but gullible.
Here's my story:
My ex-fiance cut me off exactly three weeks ago with an email informing me that he is now involved with someone else. "Please do not attempt any further contact" and he disconnected his phone. He said that he had met her first a year ago on a business trip and she didn't believe who he was (he's not anybody famous just had an interesting job) but later emailed him when she saw his picture on the internet.
2 weeks beforehand, I had just moved 10,000 miles away from home because he had orders to come here and begged me to move with him (even found the job advertisement for me and kept pestering me to apply). Oops, joke's on me. His new orders are to move to her city... the city where he and I lived when we first met 3-1/2 years ago.
I'm fairy stunned, plenty angry, but realize how insanely shallow he is. It is kind of funny!
I actually had postponed our New Year's Day wedding back at the end of November because he started being incredibly cruel to me and I didn't want to put up with it. It had happened before and I knew this was not how I wanted to start a marriage. It turns out this happened right after she first flew out to visit him while he was on another business trip... a few days after I visited him there and he was saying to me "let's just elope this weekend!"
When I returned some stuff to him back then... the one thing he insisted I keep was the framed picture of him I used to have on my bedside table. Gag me!
After that... he spent months telling me how important I was to him, how he wished he wasn't such a jerk, how much he looked forward to our new life on a tropical island... blah... blah... blah. I fell for it completely... especially because of all the tears he shed. As soon as this particularly stressful job was over... surely he would be back to himself again: the man I met.
Small memories are coming back... things I should have caught but didn't pay enough attention to or excused them because... you know... poor him has such a stressful life... just ask him. Things like, he said to me twice when I had doubts on why he was being cold, "You're here aren't you?" Like I should be really flattered to just be in the same room with him. Or the time he forgot, after two years of dating, how I took my coffee. On and on...
I'm glad he's not in my life anymore but I wish I had kept walking in November instead of falling for his tears and his need to reel me back in right up until the end: "you're my hero because you're following your heart" (i.e. him across the world) ... "I could never have found anyone as perfect for me as you." If I wasn't so gullible, I could have saved myself an expensive move and I could have been dealing this with close friends instead of far away and in a strange time zone.
We used to "joke" about his narcissistic tendencies. I don't know why I didn't really think about it hard or pay attention to it then.
I really miss the man I thought he was.