Bad Gifts

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Aug 27 - 6AM (Reply to #2)
finallydone's picture

I'm glad we're able to laugh

I'm glad we're able to laugh about this some, because it truly is disappointing when it happens. The first Christmas we spent together at his mothers house, he gave me a little space heater. I was thinking it would be something romantic. I saw his sister roll her eyes like "Oh my god I can't believe he did that." I just cheerfully accepted it saying, "Oh he knows how cold natured I am and always chilly." Every Christmas after that it was cash. He just never "had time" to go shopping for people. It was awful. On one birthday, two years ago, he actually showed up with gifts...a big monitor for the computer (which he tried to get me to put upstairs where he usually worked) and a birthday cake. But I was suspicious that the only reason he "went all out" was because the year before my mothr had asked him why he never really got me anthing which totally pissed him off. I kept thinking that it was all a show to prove that he did get me gifts. Sure enough, three days later he went into a rage about something or other telling me how much money he had spent on my birthday. It was devasating at the time.
Aug 27 - 8AM (Reply to #3)
survived (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

nm nm

best gift from [mummy dearest] was a diary for my birthday with the first 3 months filled in with what she had done and who with ,she just told me to tear them pages out, but from him when he knew he was losing control was jewelery which i got to coose myself, unfortutly he told any one who would listen ,i had coersed him into it as he was ill and weak iat the time, as soon as i heard that i sent them back, the best part of that was he is a realy mean man, so he ended up paying out a lot of money ,to get them retuned, perhaps he can wear then ,while getting in touch with his feminine side,as he keep saying i was a lesbain when i keep saying no to sex,when all he wanted was me to help him not be impotent
Aug 27 - 12PM (Reply to #4)
Rose-Marie (not verified)
Anonymous's picture


At the beginning (the roping in stage) I got a beautiful necklace. He told me when he gave it to me that whatever happened between us, I must remember that the necklace was given to me with "much love". At Christmas he gave me a paperback book by my favourite author and a CD by my favourite singer which was very nice, except that he didn't bother to check with me whether I already had them (I did!) Towards the end I pointed out a piece of ceramic which was a cheaper imitation of that made by a well known British manufacturer and told him I liked it. Next to the cheaper imitation was the real thing. He thought I was pointing to the real thing, but I told him I was referring to the imitation. He said "well you didn't think you were going to get THAT did you?" (meaning the real thing). I was crushed. It was only after I added all the weird behaviour and demeaning comments together did I realise I was dealing with an N. The first N I knew many years ago was a pharmacist - he only gave me free gifts given to him by reps. I only ever had one "proper" present from him which was a glass vase which he told me was "designer". I saw it later in a supermarket! Rosy
Aug 27 - 2PM (Reply to #5)
GhostBuster's picture

My ex Ns

The last one didn't skimp on the gifts, but they were all about him. He bought me a leather purse and outer gloves for Christmas...and kept remarking how "sexy" they were. He was trying to make me more sexy to him...THANK YOU! The gloves were made for someone with unrealistically thin hands and they didn't fit me. I couldn't even give them away--they didn't even fit this really thin woman in my office. I threw them out (after we broke up). But he was worse to his sister. She shops till she drops to find everyone in her life just the right present (that they would love) and she hates it when people give money as a gift. So, he purposely gave her cash each year (to irritate her...happy holidays, eh?). That is, until I came along. The Christmas we spent together, I insisted we get her a nice gift and we did. Should have seen the look of shock on her face. I was so happy for her! I'm sure this year she'll be getting cash again. :( My first N gave me a can of Folgers coffee our first Christmas together. He wouldn't drink anything but Starbucks and he liked to make fun of me for having a less discerning pallet. So, he thought the Folgers wrapped in holiday paper was hilarious.
Aug 27 - 2PM (Reply to #6)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

gifts - always about them

one year I got a box of mints for Xmas - I returned them Psycho-Boy was using my friends for trolling saying "Barbara says I am a nice guy" and then getting them to not speak to me about "their love." My friend in California? She showed me emails where he offered her a digital camera & movie camera to make some "private pics to prove her love". And he offered to pay for plane fare for her to fly where he was on business and stay in the company-paid hotel with him to "continue their love." I told her 'isn't that trafficing in prostitution?' She suddenly realized I was right! I need a bath with brillo... eewwww!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. B
Aug 29 - 7PM (Reply to #7)
devoured_soul (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

exN was a wealthy builder

My ex-N was a wealthy builder. For him, it was ALL about the "things", the big house, etc... which is why it was such a blow when his wife filed for divorce. She took half of everything and he no longer lived in the huge house on the hill. He was very generous on the surface with me but it came with a price tag. He did it for the "thank you" factor. He did it because it made him feel like a man to take care of the poor damsel in distress. They dont do things for others, they do it for themselves. He would never let anyone pick up the tab at dinner because it made him look bad. On a few occasions when he said he had dinner with "a friend" and then allegedly they picked up the check, I knew better. He just didn't want to produce the receipt cuz he wasn't where he said he was. And my experience is that if a person walks around saying they are THIS or THAT, they aren't. It's like they are trying to convince themselves. Truly generous people don't have to say they are generous. They just are and you know it.
Aug 8 - 9AM (Reply to #8)
Lim's picture


For my first birthday with N, he gave me a bag of Hershey kisses that had been sitting in his hot car all day while he coached football. He handed them to me and said, "it's not much" and proceeded to sign the card in front of me. Valentine's Day...I got nothing. Christmas...I got a small book of quotes...he got it off the clearance rack at B&N and left the $7.99 clearance sticker on it. The only thing they know how to give is grief. They are great at taking everything from us--even our soul.
Aug 8 - 12PM (Reply to #9)
sweetsamm's picture


My ex gave me a make-up brush....a blush brush....i thought it was so wierd....i didn't even know what to say,it turns out it was actually a vibrator that looks like a make-up brush..this was after 2dates..
Aug 12 - 7PM (Reply to #18)
hitandrun's picture


That was strange as hell after 2 dates. But the ladies are right, it is the gift that keeps on giving after his sorry a$$ is gone : )
Aug 10 - 6AM (Reply to #16)
MsVulcan500's picture


He knew you would appreciate this later when he couldn't get it up anymore or when he got you all worked up then left you hanging.
Aug 10 - 8AM (Reply to #17)
wholeagain's picture

ahh right

so it really was a very thoughtful gift. :P
Aug 8 - 1PM (Reply to #10)
wholeagain's picture


The gift that keeps on giving! Or something like that :P
Aug 8 - 2PM (Reply to #11)
Mariline's picture

Wholeagain, I am really

Wholeagain, I am really cracking up :-))) Oh well as I wrote somewhere else, I received: 1. an old recipe book which belonged to his mother ( subtle criticism on my cooking issues? I am Italian! Oh I forget, he was "the vegan" and my cooking was "too fat" -when the mediterranean cuisin is the healthier, bah) 2. an old and stained t-shirt with the comment "you can keep it" (OMG I should have been overwhelmed, would not I?) 3. and the best of all....drums please....thr ring. It was made of silver and cheap. In Italy is still an important symbol an engagement ring. That one looked like , like we say, a ring he had found in the Easter chocolate egg. And that's it. In one year. Was not he the man of every woman dreams?
Aug 10 - 3AM (Reply to #12)
broken23's picture

I got a used shirt too that

I got a used shirt too that had a picture of peanuts and read "deez nuts" why didnt i run....why why why broken. was that not enough!!
Aug 10 - 6AM (Reply to #13)
betty2020's picture Retrospection is Retrospection is horrible some days.. Did he at least wash it before he gave it to you broken? only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Aug 11 - 2AM (Reply to #14)
broken23's picture

actually it came straight

actually it came straight from the drawer to my
Aug 21 - 5PM (Reply to #15)
Alibi_10's picture

Surprise surprise!!

New here - and though I am feeling awful today, these made me laugh. My ex-N told me to bring my birth certificate to his house on my birthday. My friends and I wondered what surprise could be in store? The surprise was that he was going to take me to a restaurant where if it was your birthday and you had your birth certificate you ate for free!! He was actually very wealthy, but I couldn't believe it! He also gave me (unwrapped) a heart monitor that was his and he didn't want, a book of walks and an ordnance survey map (that he must have forgotten he told me he had bought for himself) - boy did I feel special !! :o) x