Profession of your N?

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Jun 30 - 3PM
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Academic

Tenured professor of philosophy at a competitive, private college in the northeast. There are a lot of Ns in academia. Unstructured hours. Workaholics avoiding intimacy. Adoring students. Very self-important & above-it-all types.
Jun 30 - 3PM
Amy
Amy's picture

VP of Sales

Mine is a VP of Sales (inside) for a large energy company. Thinks he is a God. He said he wanted to make VP, now he has, and last we spoke, he still wanted more! Addicted to power... No one is as "good" as he is. Granted, he is VERY good at his job. However, the company we both used to work for would not promote him because he didn't work well with others....
Jun 30 - 3PM
imabloke
imabloke's picture

Profession

Mine exN's a lawyer. Heaven helps us.
Jun 30 - 3PM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

profession

Mine's a judge, his brother's a judge, their dad was a judge, their mom a high-powered attorney in the 1950s! She never even took her husband's name. Their family owned oil well during the Depression.
Jun 30 - 3PM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Mines a politcian,a pot

Mines a politcian,a pot smoking ,coke snorting man of the people psycopath . Dont worry he wont ever get any real power although he would like to, he is still on the first few runs of the ladder , and i am exposing him bit by bit x
Jun 30 - 2PM
NinjaGirl
NinjaGirl's picture

What he IS or what he THINKS he is?

Mine is an accounting assistant. And right after he broke up with me, his hours got cut down to 30. Hahahaha, serves him right. My friend thinks it's karma. But he's working on this tabletop game system that he thinks he's going to take the world by storm with. Mind you, he goes to just about everyone else for help with finding out about licensing issues, how to write a proposal letter, how to send the proposal letter to another country, etc. And so many people have gaming systems like his that I don't think it's going to fly very easily. He also thinks he's this up and coming author, but all his stories are just filled with exposition, and they all revolve around the same thing - awesome man meets awesome woman, they have sex, they fall in love, they get married, they have kids. Or they're transgender stories, but with the same equation as above. Man turns into woman, woman meets man, etc. They're all almost exactly the same.
Jun 30 - 2PM
ewa
ewa's picture

sales

Mine is a Sales Rep in IT company.
Jul 1 - 10AM (Reply to #22)
hopefuljms
hopefuljms's picture

Sales

Mine is in sales also. Had 8 jobs in 10 years. Now has his own business (and I hear it's failing). Already filed bankruptcy once with when he was married. I am sure his soon to be child bride with be thrilled when she has to support a guy 17 years older than her. Thankfully he lives far away from me and I never have to see his face again!
Jun 30 - 2PM
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

profession

Mine is a maintenance/Carpenter

Aceonelady

Jun 30 - 2PM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Mine has his PHD and is a

Mine has his PHD and is a scientist. He believes he's always right and the smartest. No one at our previous job liked him but supposedly he says everyone loves him at his new job. He must be putting on his act right now.
Jun 30 - 8PM (Reply to #10)
rochkevin
rochkevin's picture

His job was to smoke as much

His job was to smoke as much pot as he could buy. Never did have a job and never will.
Jul 1 - 12AM (Reply to #11)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

My EXNH was a high school

My EXNH was a high school history teacher. To illustrate how he obtained Narcissistic Supply from his students, I’ve included an email below, which he sent me right after our divorce. He was about to have the summer off from teaching. He was looking forward to taking some time off; however, he was a bit concerned at the same time. Why? Because it meant he would no longer have a daily audience of students to hang on his every word. Upon this realization, he sent me the following in an email: "As I finish off summer school in the next week and begin a month long break, I sense an impending moment of relief juxtaposed with a strong, palatable anxiety. My sentiment of trepidation naturally occurs from not teaching. For an entire month, I will not get to elaborate on the wonderful debate between Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson; will not get to passionately tell Tecumseh’s Curse (except to the occasional friend or prospective female at a bar); will not have the opportunity to sell the importance of Andrew Jackson to United States history; will not have the chance to propagate my notion of how Manifest Destiny connects with and relates to the Puritans, the war in Iraq, and our treatment of the Native Americans; will not have the chance to give an extensive, all-consuming, and exhausting lecture on how the Treaty of Versailles shaped the twentieth-century and was ultimately responsible for its failures and horrors; and consequently, I will not be able to proffer an ideology—my ideology—of tolerance, of intellectual curiosity, and of a guarded, reticent hope, a hope not so much in people, but rather in individuals, those who are unique and have big, bold, strong personalities, who move history, rather than being moved by it, those men and women with a vision, a charisma, an ability to shape and craft ideas. Individuals are wonderful, people are dangerous. Individuals are strong and insatiable, people are weak and full. While individuals stand alone screaming before a crowd, people sit and listen together, mumbling in unison their rejection or adulation depending on what the person next to him thinks. While individuals defy order, people are only too willing to acquiesce. My best teaching comes from explaining history, its relevance, its complexity, and moreover, in imbibing learning with a liberal, passionate, exuberance. Like Sampson before me, there will be better organized teachers, more creative teachers, more caring teachers, and definitely without question, harder working teachers, but I will say that my class will never be boring or monotonous, because even when discussing the end of the frontier after the Civil War—a topic with seemingly little interest to layman on the street—I will tell an interesting story about how railroad companies and the U.S. government hired ace shooters to ride along on railroad cars and kill buffalo so that one day, the Native Americans, who lost their main means of sustenance, would be forced to either assimilate or move onto reservations, thus, clearing the way for the expansion westward by the dominant white culture."
Jul 1 - 1AM (Reply to #12)
NancyM
NancyM's picture

OMG

Do you know I can read a monologue now and actually pick it? Wow, when you really know how to listen to what they are saying, they reveal themselves so easily. Reading that made me want to throw up. He is totally revealing himself. Mine was always soooo passionate about his job. His ideals were supposedly rock solid, yet in the end he revealed himself to have no morals or principles in his personal life. I was rather ideological too, but I have certainty changed direction now that I know about Narcs. "Individuals are strong and insatiable, people are weak and full." Us Narcs are GOD, the rest of you feeling people are weak, weak, weak. The full is interesting, what do we have that he knew he did not? He knew what he was no doubt.

Nevergoback

Jul 1 - 10AM (Reply to #13)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Nancy

Oh yeah, he knew he was a raging narcissist. He told me from day one that he was, but I didn't take it seriously or realize the implications narcissism has on a relationship. Heck at the time (16 years ago) narcissism was not a term people understood. At least, I didn't. I had never heard the term before he used it. When I looked it up, it was simply defined as "one with great confidence." No joke! Eight years into our relationship when I had lost my sanity and couldn't figure out what was happening to me, I looked up the word narcissism again. This time, thanks to Sam Vaknin, there was more info. on the topic. As I read the true meaning of it all, my mouth was on the floor. Everything he did finally made sense to me and I realized I had to accept him for who he was or move on. He wasn't going to change and there was nothing I could do to get him to change. I'm rambling now, but you get my point. He absolutely knows who he is and he eats it up. I'll have to post some of his poetry where he literally compares himself to God. It's nauseating.
Jul 2 - 8AM (Reply to #19)
NancyM
NancyM's picture

Info on Narcissism

Even roughly three years ago their wasn't much info out there, though when I did find some I of course went into complete denial and actually felt bad for even considering it. Funny though, now that I think about it, the first time I heard the term Narcissism was in the 80s when my Mum called my Dad on it. She was right of course, and when he started acting up she would turn and say, "Here it comes, the feeling of grandeur". Will have to find out where she found out what she did. Boy should I have listened. I could imagine the poetry, but post away. I have also been reading a lot of lyrics of who were once my favorite artists, and am now going ick ick ick. May have to have a CD bonfire.

Nevergoback

Jul 1 - 1PM (Reply to #14)
Kelly
Kelly's picture

Ahhh High School teachers

And college professors. I think many of them are narcissists. Thanks so much for posting this letter. I wonder though, he does make room for there being other individuals . . . Part of the seduction when you don't know what to look out for an NPD person. He makes you feel like you are different from others (and everybody is unique and special in their own way.) You just think he believes you are both on the same wavelength. It's mixing fact with magical thinking. The truth is, there are people who just keep their mouths shut and go along with group think. Studies have shown that depending on where your live and what the influence is, people often lean in the same directions because of social pressure. The other side of it is, people also find groups they agree with and join them through their own free will. Political parties, sports, religion - anything you do - there are others who you will find, enjoy the same things and think similarly. Narcs confuse their own way of thinking as the correct way of thinking and that those who don't recognize how correct he is are just weak minded . . . and you don't want to be considered weak minded by the N, now do you?
Jul 1 - 5PM (Reply to #18)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Acting like he cares

My ex-P was my science teacher freshman year of college. I lost my grandfather, and he was BRUTAL towards me, to the point that my fellow classmates jumped in, telling him to stop being mean. He'd tell me to "toughen up" and that I needed to "manage my feelings"--and he said this DURING CLASS. Some Ns/Ps are clever enough to keep their nasty side out of the public eye--they don't expose it to their primary supply (coworkers,students) But my ex-P obviously didn't. He played mindgames with me. He'd tell me to keep my distance... then he'd pursue me. If I appeared to be pursuing him, he'd play the victim. And this is only my freshman year. It was one big roller coaster. Sometimes, during class, he'd say that I was going to the on-campus therapist because I needed to "manage my emotions." He ACTED like he was the caring, compassionate mentor. (The on-campus therapist was also one of my professors at the time, I was in her class, and she was his colleague) My classmates thought he was driving me nuts ON PURPOSE--then sending me to the therapist to cover himself. It's like purposefully wounding a person then sending them to the ER. What boggles me to this day is that he was my TEACHER. We assume that teachers RESPECT their students. The fact he deems his students (and perhaps the rest of humanity) worthless is mind boggling. He didn't care about his students a decade ago;he still doesn't care (I assume) We assume that pastors RESPECT the children in their care. That's why we're appalled when we hear about pastors molesting children. I assume my ex-P will never apologize for the same reasons we never hear priestly abusers apologize. They only see people as objects. That's what I've noticed. You NEVER hear these pastors who abused children stepping forward to genuinely apologize. Abusers don't apologize. It's not in their mindset.
Jul 1 - 3PM (Reply to #15)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Kelly

Yes! I think many narcs pursue a podium and teaching is one way to have a podium. It's sad they take advantage of this because teaching is such a critically important role. My mother taught for years and then became a school Principal. The way she gave of herself to those children was unbelievable. She truly cared about her students. She spent hours working late and helping kids. My EXNH, complete opposite. Talk about different story. He couldn't leave the school fast enough when that final bell rang. He didn't want to be bothered by any of the kids, but he did want them to worship him and agree with everything he said. You don't want to be considered weak minded by the Narc is right, Kelly!
Jul 1 - 4PM (Reply to #17)
naivenomore
naivenomore's picture

Isnt' that interesting!

Well then, I guess there's no forums or support groups for Narcs 'cause none of them would admit they have a huge problem LOL! Can't you just imagine what it would be like (laughing here!)if there was such a forum? I'm sure some of you are going to add something else humourous on this one LOL!
Jul 1 - 3PM (Reply to #16)
broken23
broken23's picture

that reminds me of my N

that reminds me of my N lisa. when i asked him what kind of a physician he wants to be...he said probably one that works with children...because when they cry at least they must be in real pain. and probably children are the only one who would want to deal with him
Jun 30 - 2PM
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

Mine is an electrician

Mine is an electrician

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

Jun 30 - 3PM (Reply to #2)
sarahb
sarahb's picture

the list

lawyer, venture capitalist, doctor, investment banker, sales manager. There, I think that is all of the Ns. Do i get some kind of consolation prize for having lived through so many?
Jun 30 - 3PM (Reply to #3)
sarahb
sarahb's picture

second part of your question

Yes, all very successful - not as humans, of course, but in their respective professions. Actually as to your N - Ns are VERY common among the medical profession - no better place to hide your monstrosity than behind the facade of a caring profession. plus new people looking up to them to save and help them every day all day long - a great source of narcissistic supply. it is wierd that intellectual capabilites can exist in what are essentially 3 year olds. I can't explain it.
Jun 30 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
NancyM
NancyM's picture

Intellect

I don't think there is anything wrong with their intellect. Its just that they cannot attach an emotion to a thought like the rest of us do. Last time round mine was a union organiser. Sprouted morals and principles like he was the only one that understood what that meant, and was out there saving the masses from the big, bad, mean boss. Talk about hiding in plain sight. Always on the road, charging off on his big white horse to save some damsel in distress. Actually was very good at his job, and I think he had the perfect Narc life. Funny though, on being in a superior position himself, he was nothing but a bully to those who worked beneath him. I think that's when the cracks really started to appear for me. Couldn't practice what he preached. Though he always used the term walking the walk not just talking the talk. Was good at saying everything, but did not DO any of it. sarahb, I gotta say, there has to be a consolation prize of some sort for surviving that lot.

Nevergoback

Jun 30 - 3PM (Reply to #5)
sarahb
sarahb's picture

NancyM

Hi NancyM, Oh my gosh, they do just love to charge off and save dames and damsels in distress, I have seen that, how funny. (And then they can't treat people they are in a relationship with with any sort of respect or decency!) Now that I know all about Ns, I included ALL of the sorry lot from my past...even the psychopath who idealized and D&D me within the course of about two months!...maybe the total time wasted isn't as bad as it looks...but I do consider myself something of an expert!
Jun 30 - 4PM (Reply to #6)
NancyM
NancyM's picture

sarahb

Haha..yeah, I think I have profiled everyone I have ever known and i must admit, sometimes a little light goes on onside and I think "So that's what was really going on at the time!?" Sure has answered a lot of questions.

Nevergoback

Jul 1 - 11AM (Reply to #7)
MovinOnUp
MovinOnUp's picture

Profession

I helped mine build a business where he would get constant N supply.
Jul 2 - 12PM (Reply to #8)
sweetsamm
sweetsamm's picture

mine is a negotiator for

mine is a negotiator for grocery union in my town...sammmmi