I made contact. :(

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#1 Jun 20 - 8PM
Learningthehardway
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I made contact. :(

I deserve a massive flaming.
I knew better.
I always knew I shouldn't do it.

I went against reason thinking maybe THIS TIME I could approach him and he would react differently. More kind.
Nope.
It's the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

I'm just so damned disappointed. I didn't want to leave things "bad". I didn't want to leave them "good" where he felt good about himself and moving on.
I wanted him to know I am moving on. I'll admit, I thought it would wake him up. It didn't. Instead I got the text, "I'm having steak and a beer and watching basketball. Now LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!! WE DESTROYED IT!!! MOVE ON PLEASE!!!!

I was humiliated and embarrassed again. I told him he was heartless he said no you're heartless... it goes on and on like a broken record and there is no closure; there is no opening for any kind of real thing, no friendship, no warm and fuzzies after 7 years.

Just hate.

I feel foolish. I feel like I just caved which I did.
I feel like I lost the power again.
DAMN I want the power. I want HIM to realize he lost a good thing.

It's futile.
Now I have to start all over with my head hung lower (in his eyes) as the fool who tried to reason with him and that showed I cared.
:(

Jul 20 - 7PM
NoMoreFreakBoy
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"I want him to realize he lost a good thing"...

Jul 20 - 2PM
Emotionalroller...
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Amazing!!! mods please make

Jul 20 - 10AM
ZanShin
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One question

Jul 20 - 12PM (Reply to #50)
Learningthehardway
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I won't say....

Jul 20 - 10AM
ZanShin
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Projection 'humor'

Jul 20 - 6AM
Quixotic
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Close the Door on Closure

Jul 20 - 7PM (Reply to #47)
NoMoreFreakBoy
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WOW

Jul 20 - 6PM (Reply to #46)
fefe65
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Dead on target; awesome post;

Jul 20 - 10AM (Reply to #45)
ZanShin
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amazing

Jul 20 - 9AM (Reply to #44)
Laci423
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had to grab a tissue!

Jul 20 - 8AM (Reply to #43)
WhiteSwan44
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Awesome!

Jul 20 - 8AM (Reply to #42)
notyourtoy
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well damn

Jul 20 - 7AM (Reply to #41)
Steel Hibiscus
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Bravo

Jul 20 - 5AM
Learningthehardway
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EXN said the same crap to me at the end....

Jun 21 - 6AM
thebigpayback
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once i TRULY accepted no

Jun 21 - 7AM (Reply to #38)
Learningthehardway
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omg big...

Jun 20 - 11PM
IncognitoBurrito
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And another blog post

Jun 21 - 6AM (Reply to #36)
Learningthehardway
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IB Thanks for these....

Jun 20 - 10PM
IncognitoBurrito
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Blog posts

Jun 20 - 8PM
Learningthehardway
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What I really wanted to happen...

Jun 21 - 10AM (Reply to #33)
spinning
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Well, lesson, I had sooooo

spinning

Jun 21 - 1AM (Reply to #32)
Journey
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Incognito Burrito posted some

Journey on...

Jun 20 - 9PM (Reply to #26)
pumpkinpie
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They get uncomfortable when

Jun 20 - 9PM (Reply to #27)
spt
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Wow! You had a self aware

Jun 20 - 10PM (Reply to #30)
pumpkinpie
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Hahaha. Yes, I'm the 90 lb

Jun 20 - 10PM (Reply to #31)
spt
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Wow, yeah...projection is

Jun 20 - 9PM (Reply to #28)
ItsFinallytime
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Spt, don't give him that

Jun 20 - 10PM (Reply to #29)
spt
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He can't come back, not only

Jun 20 - 9PM (Reply to #25)
ItsFinallytime
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Learningthehardway ... Do

Jun 20 - 9PM (Reply to #24)
spt
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Also wanted to add I realized