I made contact. :(

I deserve a massive flaming.
I knew better.
I always knew I shouldn't do it.

I went against reason thinking maybe THIS TIME I could approach him and he would react differently. More kind.
Nope.
It's the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

I'm just so damned disappointed. I didn't want to leave things "bad". I didn't want to leave them "good" where he felt good about himself and moving on.
I wanted him to know I am moving on. I'll admit, I thought it would wake him up. It didn't. Instead I got the text, "I'm having steak and a beer and watching basketball. Now LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!! WE DESTROYED IT!!! MOVE ON PLEASE!!!!

I was humiliated and embarrassed again. I told him he was heartless he said no you're heartless... it goes on and on like a broken record and there is no closure; there is no opening for any kind of real thing, no friendship, no warm and fuzzies after 7 years.

Just hate.

I feel foolish. I feel like I just caved which I did.
I feel like I lost the power again.
DAMN I want the power. I want HIM to realize he lost a good thing.

It's futile.
Now I have to start all over with my head hung lower (in his eyes) as the fool who tried to reason with him and that showed I cared.
:(