As Good As It Gets?

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#1 Mar 13 - 7PM
talktothehand
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As Good As It Gets?

Wake up call needed please.

My partner:

is my best friend
is generous, kind, loving, supportive, funny, tells me he loves me practically every day, and has done for 20 YEARS, has never cheated on me, is one of the only men I have ever admired or respected, supports and encourages me in my career, shows he cares in numerous ways with ACTIONS not words, devotes time and energy in supporting others, doing voluntary work, in addition to his job (he earns much more than I will ever earn), has all the qualities I do not have, gives great advice, everybody loves him, my therapist thinks he sounds like a saint, my aunt calls him 'golden boy', he totally understands me and my dysfunctional family, he called my narc father out when I was so depressed I couldn't speak to him, has supported me through a nervous breakdown, made me laugh and always been there for me, buys me presents and Skypes and calls me every day if he is working abroad, acts as surrogtate dad to his nieces and nephews who are children of a PD, has made provision for me and given me money of my own for a savings plan as we are not married, just so I would have some security. Would you please tell me WHY I WOULD BOTHER EATING SPAM WHEN I HAD FILLET STEAK AT HOME. My mum died when I was a kid and my father was always emotionally unavailable (he never mentioned my mother, ever). Any SANE woman would have married this man years ago, surely. I did not. I resisted that, even though he would marry me tomorrow. WTF? I have been in therapy most of my adult life. I had a PD father, have a PD sister and her daughter is PD. Enter the narc is the dark side of me, and who connects with that totally...he is the shadow side of me.He wears a mask of normalcy that I am also wearing, we recognise that in each other. One is destructive, one is not. I am not in touch with the narc but I really need to get to grips with the fact that fantasy man was handsome but toxic and destructive. Reality man is in fact, the real deal, he is Prince Charming. I have never been married but clearly my partner is an ideal husband. WTF is wrong with me?

Mar 19 - 11AM
Janie53
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Talktothehand

Mar 20 - 4AM (Reply to #58)
talktothehand
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Janie

Mar 20 - 6AM (Reply to #59)
Janie53
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Talktothehand

Mar 20 - 6AM (Reply to #60)
talktothehand
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Janie

Mar 16 - 12PM
Hunter
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At some point dysfunction

Mar 18 - 11AM (Reply to #56)
NoMoreFreakBoy
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This ....

Mar 15 - 12PM
Breathe_Easy
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I am you. 100%. Totally

Mar 16 - 12PM (Reply to #41)
Hunter
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BREATH EASY Read Baggage??

Mar 18 - 10PM (Reply to #54)
Breathe_Easy
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Oh no!

Mar 18 - 4PM (Reply to #49)
laxl
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what needs to stop?

Mar 18 - 6PM (Reply to #50)
Janie53
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laxl

Mar 19 - 8AM (Reply to #51)
laxl
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Love ya Janie 53

Mar 19 - 11AM (Reply to #52)
Goldie
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Sisters in Recovery

Mar 19 - 5PM (Reply to #53)
laxl
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I do kind of know you!

Mar 17 - 2PM (Reply to #48)
done as dinner
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Why does it have to be either/or?

Mar 16 - 1PM (Reply to #45)
Goldie
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LOL, Hunter, I just wrote about this same topic and it was on

Mar 18 - 11AM (Reply to #47)
NoMoreFreakBoy
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Loved those highs

Mar 16 - 2PM (Reply to #46)
Sickofhim
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Many who have been with Narcs

Mar 16 - 12PM (Reply to #42)
talktothehand
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I have

Mar 16 - 1PM (Reply to #43)
Goldie
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You may want to join our Support Group

Mar 16 - 1PM (Reply to #44)
talktothehand
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Thanks

Mar 16 - 12PM (Reply to #39)
talktothehand
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Zsa Zsa Zu

Mar 19 - 9AM (Reply to #40)
loveofmylife
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done as dinner

Mar 14 - 2PM
done as dinner
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Your conundrum made me think of this advice column reply...

Mar 14 - 8PM (Reply to #37)
IncognitoBurrito
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That's a good one

Mar 14 - 1PM
talktothehand
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I feel

Mar 14 - 12PM
IncognitoBurrito
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I don't know

Mar 18 - 11AM (Reply to #34)
NoMoreFreakBoy
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Soo true

Mar 14 - 1PM (Reply to #33)
talktothehand
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IB

Mar 14 - 12PM
Froglegs
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*hug*