Thoughts of him

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#1 Nov 6 - 5PM
Ruby
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Thoughts of him

I don't post here often but I always read and gain strength from other members posts. They are all so similar..like I had written each one myself. He is still blocked. 9 months now of NC and for the most part it's all good. Then thoughts of him keep invading and immediately I try to force them out by telling myself that even if I did contact him or him me,
would I feel secure with him ever again could I trust him ever again and the answer to both is no. Yet still that does not change the fact that I made this decision and this is the price that I am paying for it. Sometimes the price just seems too high. Am I really worth all that ? Is my pride and my ego so great that I gave up the only person that I ever truly loved ?
Yes I guess it is. I know how he treated me and it was anything but good and I did what any self respecting person would have done. Yet still sometimes, that price seems to high. I know that had he truly cared it would not have come to this. That's the hard part. The fact that he never did really even care. I almost broke NC but didn't. Because I know deep down, there is no point. Accepting all this is a real bitch.

Nov 7 - 3AM
Hunter
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It's called INFLATION.. As

Nov 7 - 4AM (Reply to #51)
Ruby
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Thanks Hunter. I think that I

Nov 6 - 11PM
misshymers
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Sadly

Nov 6 - 8PM
Ruby
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I miss the person that I

Nov 7 - 6AM (Reply to #32)
talktothehand
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the person he is...

Nov 7 - 6AM (Reply to #33)
confused83
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Mine told me that HE didn't

Nov 7 - 7AM (Reply to #48)
TruthbeginsToday
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I do know and it's devastating

Nov 7 - 7AM (Reply to #34)
talktothehand
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Ouch indeed

Nov 7 - 8AM (Reply to #35)
confused83
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I have told myself this but

Nov 7 - 8AM (Reply to #36)
talktothehand
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Confused

Nov 7 - 8AM (Reply to #37)
confused83
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Talk, my head comprehends

Nov 7 - 11AM (Reply to #46)
Goldie
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WHAT?

Nov 7 - 12PM (Reply to #47)
confused83
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I am going to try and keep

Nov 7 - 9AM (Reply to #41)
Used
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DISCLAIMER - I under no

Nov 7 - 12PM (Reply to #45)
confused83
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And as far as the disclaimer

Nov 7 - 9AM (Reply to #42)
confused83
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Honestly, I was not thinking

Nov 7 - 11AM (Reply to #43)
Used
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confused83

Nov 7 - 12PM (Reply to #44)
Goldie
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Yes, Used

Nov 7 - 9AM (Reply to #38)
talktothehand
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Fantasy

Nov 7 - 9AM (Reply to #39)
confused83
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That would be very tiring for

Nov 7 - 11AM (Reply to #40)
talktothehand
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Tiring

Nov 7 - 3AM (Reply to #28)
TruthbeginsToday
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masquerade and confused, Yes,

Nov 7 - 6AM (Reply to #31)
confused83
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Hi truth, I guess they are

Nov 7 - 4AM (Reply to #29)
Ruby
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You are so right. His

Nov 7 - 6AM (Reply to #30)
confused83
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Masquerade, it is scary how

Nov 6 - 8PM (Reply to #15)
confused83
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Its devastating isn't it when

Nov 7 - 4AM (Reply to #25)
TruthbeginsToday
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your experiences already answer most of your questions

Nov 7 - 7AM (Reply to #26)
confused83
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That is true, Truth. They do

Nov 7 - 8AM (Reply to #27)
TruthbeginsToday
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confused

Nov 6 - 8PM (Reply to #17)
Lovely1
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I think they are what they