Do they CHOOSE to be mean?
Do they CHOOSE to be mean?
hi all,
This is something I've been thinking about, and here's a warning in advance: it might be a very weird train of thought ok...
OK, so NPD is a disorder right? Does that mean it's an illness? Can you help it when you're ill?
Can the N help it that he is 'ill' or does he CHOOSE to be mean? Does he CHOOSE to give you the silent treatment? Or is it something he can't help because he is 'sick in the head'?
I hope it's not 'he can't help it' because it makes me feel sorry for him you know? I don't want to feel sorry for him for being mean to me!!!
For example, someone who is paralyzed and sits in a wheelchair (it's just an example, I'm not comparing someone who can't walk to N's , ok!!) ... it's an illness, he can't help it that he can't walk.
When someone is ill, you feel sad for that person right? And you want to help him?
But N's cannot be helped, they will always be who they are, but doesn't it take ALL ACCOUNTABILITY away from them when they have an 'illness'?
Can a narcissist say (I know they will never say this out loud , but again, it's just an example):
* "I am mean to you, but hey, I can't help it, I have a disorder"
* "I give you Silent treatment, but I can't help it! It's not my fault that I have a disorder."
Thing is, I don't WANT to feel sorry for N!!!!!! If I start feeling sorry for him, I start thinking of all kinds excuses for his behavior. (like: "oh he gave me Silent Treatment, but he can't help it, the POOR guy, he is so ill in the head...") Ugh. It drives me nuts.
I know they can't be helped, but aren't they at least CHOOSING their mean behavior just a bit?????
xx
Alissa
wow lovely
Brokenacc, chilling
tell
This post reminded me of some
Lets say the illness makes
Done Sourcing
Masquerade
Yes
No actually not even close
Goldie
Hi Goldie
Hi Goldie, I don't see the
Yes and no
Just to be clear...
spinning
correction
Mental illness
Narcissits do chose to be hurtful
I love how goldie put all
Great post!
ive often wondered how my ex
never say never owen...and
"Nothing wrong with feeling
lol...yes, we hear you! the
((( Deirdre ))) Thank you!!!
does it matter...
You can feel sorry for whoever you want to feel sorry for
Goldie! (And 3 more C's)
Goldie, I love you :)
hi Goldie
I think.....