The Path Forward Virtual Retreat Febuary 2021!



""When it rains it pours."

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#1 Jul 22 - 6PM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

""When it rains it pours."

Sometimes if feels like everything happens at once and it seems almost overwhelming.

My life has been like this, I have periods where it seems like I am on track and everything flows and I am on top of my game.

Other times, it seems like all the challenges, trials, and tribulations come at once.

This is one of those periods for me. Whether we are newbies, oldtimers, or somewhere in between we still are livning life and get hit with challenges.

These past several months for me have been a real test of my faith and convictions in recovery.

I have old legal issues with Narc which have come back to haunt me.

My Aunt and Uncle both passed in a short period of time which brought me back to my homeland where I was forced to run into my "Narc" father, Pscyopathic brother (that way from severe abuse by my father), my sister who is clearly a borderline, and I was floored by their inappropriate behaviors surrounder my Aunt and Uncle's passing.

My son who is awesome yet has inherited my "issue's" with codependent relationships unfortunately by watching me for years. Yes, he is an empath, like me, intelligent like me, intuituve, like me, yet also has demonstrated himself to "settle for less" in relationships like me, extremely painful to watch and often I feel helpless to help him to see.

One day he did say to me, that he was proud of me because he could see my grownth and felt that my work was helping many others to escape from a life with a dysfuctional partner that did help me to see that he was proud of me, yet it still hurt that my prior behaviors have had a strong effect on him.

I had to replace my septic, roof, major car issue's, and old narc related debt all hit me within the same month.

I was bummed to put it mildly, I am like WTF, I am a good person, doing the work, helping others, and STILL my financial world and life are falling apart.

It's called LIFE, sometimes things just happen and it is NOT a reflection on who and what we are or whether we deserve this or not, it just happens; shit happens.

I think sometimes people think; just because we are moderators and have come so far that bad things do not happen to us; they do. We are also human and we also have to pay our bills, struggle with family of orign issue's, and get through the day.

The difference here is that we have each other, yes the other moderators are supporting me and helping me to cope and have the faith, that this too shall pass.

This board has been my family for the past 2 years and when I had nowhere else to turn, I turned to my fellow moderators and they said: don't worry Goldie, we love you, you are a good person, and you will make it throught this difficult time.

I am scared right now because I have had strong momments of fear and doubt and it has always been my role to be the strong one for everyone else, yet I too am human and I too have bad days and times and this is a difficult and scary period for me right now.

I do remain Narcfree and I am asking for your support to help me through this difficult period.

I fear I may be losing my house due to years of being an empath and a giver and while I do not feel this is fair; I do have a strong faith in God that he will support me and see me through this difficult time.

I know that everything happens for a reason and the good people will not be taken down no matter what. I just want you all to understand that the moderators are human, we too also have fears, wants, desires, and concerns in our own lives and together we can do what we cannot do alone.

God bless,
Goldie

Jul 29 - 2AM
eyeswideopen35
eyeswideopen35's picture

Dearest Goldie, I am so sorry

Jul 25 - 12PM
Alissa
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God will not abandon you,

Jul 25 - 12PM
Alissa
Alissa's picture

God will not abandon you,

Jul 24 - 4PM
Ruby
Ruby's picture

This..

Jul 24 - 4PM (Reply to #84)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Yes, Masquerade, I'm sure you are right

Jul 24 - 12PM
Narcbait
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I am so sorry you are going

Jul 24 - 12PM (Reply to #82)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Thank you for the big hug

Jul 24 - 9AM
Layla
Layla's picture

WOW! All these posts of concern and support!

Jul 24 - 10AM (Reply to #78)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Thank you Layla

Jul 24 - 1PM (Reply to #79)
Layla
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: )

Jul 25 - 10AM (Reply to #80)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Thanks, Layla

Jul 24 - 10AM (Reply to #76)
spinning
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Double Wow, Layla and all

spinning

Jul 24 - 10AM (Reply to #77)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Thanks Spinning

Jul 23 - 10PM
Reason2Believe
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Goldie

Jul 24 - 7AM (Reply to #74)
Goldie
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Hi Reason2believe

Jul 24 - 7AM
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Hey Goldie!

Jul 24 - 7AM (Reply to #72)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Thank you Ruby

Jul 23 - 7PM
OneDay@aTime
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Goldie...

Jul 24 - 7AM (Reply to #70)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Good, then I am doing my job, lol.

Jul 23 - 7PM
I believe
I believe's picture

Hi Goldie, I was shocked to

Jul 24 - 7AM (Reply to #68)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Thank you I beleive

Jul 23 - 7PM
I believe
I believe's picture

Hi Goldie, I was shocked to

Jul 23 - 5PM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

WOW, I am overcome with the outpouring of love and wisdom

Jul 24 - 2PM (Reply to #64)
NarcJunkie
NarcJunkie's picture

Thank you for sharing, Goldie

Jul 24 - 3PM (Reply to #65)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Thanks Narcjunkie and a big hug to you as well.

Jul 23 - 2PM
fallingfoward
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Golden Girl :)

Jul 24 - 6AM (Reply to #62)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Thank you Fallingforward

Jul 23 - 2PM
TruthbeginsToday
TruthbeginsToday's picture

prayers for you and your son

Jul 24 - 6AM (Reply to #60)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Thank you Truthbeginstoday

Jul 23 - 2PM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

hi Goldie