How did your N react to your tears?

SAME HERE! But, everytime I would cry, or be emotional he would R A G E !! RAGE RAGE RAGE, it was so bizarre. Sometimes I would sit and stare at it in bewilderment. He recently (during final D&D), told me that he HATED when I cried, I asked him why..he said it made him crazy, and he would literally punch his head in. He loved punching himself, when I told him he didnt show love , he hit himself so bad he went into a coma state. Or if I told him that he was hurting me..etc..he would break his head against things. No one around me believed he was capable of this violence. I tried to tell his family, my family. No one knows, but me. (or maybe some exes?..who knows) Talk about NOT normal.