He doesn't stop

My attention span will not even allow me to make it through this letter. It reminds me of one of those bulk mailings where they just insert your name. He's a bore.

"washing your hair "???.. pass me the sick bucket .. for the love of God ! You know what to do with this letter.. NC NC NC xx

whenever a sentence begins with...''i need you to understand...'' rest assure. a narc is the author behind it. *eye roll*

Puke. Barf. Vomit. Why can`he just drown in his own unctuousness. Scrambled eggs, I`d like to scramble HIS. Grrrr! Tigerlily

HAHAHA.....HE GETS 10 OUT OF 10, FOR BEING THE MOST MENTAL NARC ON THE BOARD..

Oh..MY ..GOD!!! I am trying hard not to laugh, but I am sure this is not funny for you, or any of us that have experienced this kind of psychopatic BULLSHIT!! I TOO had a similar letter written in the past when I got up and left (for the millionth time), i swear they copied each other, it was so exactly like yours..!!! NC NC NC NC NC NC NC!!! YOU CAN DO IT GIRL!! HE IS AN ASS CLOWN, a fraud of his demise. DO NOT GIVE HIM POWER, he doesnt even deserve the much deserved insults from you. YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER now and he cant stand it!!!

He said it! "you are truly a wonderful person, and I don’t deserve your love" He admit he didnt deserve and in reality he doesnt deserve. NC!

I know exactly how you feel - here is the letter I received today coming off a good week and feeling empowered. perhaps the similarities will help you stay strong! "I didn't and still don't think things are too destroyed to continue. If i thought that maybe I wouldn't feel so sad about everything all the time. All of the things I said and have said are possible. It would just take both of us to make it work. I feel so sad that we aren't trying together to become the people we can be together. I have so many different feelings about everything that has happened. They all wind up at incredible heart-wrenching sadness the degree to which I had never known. Things are not too destroyed to continue. We had a horrible couple of months which neither of us ever wants to experience again. The willingness to continue, which is a choice in the face of adversity, is not there. We could choose to try to work things out, which I know we could, in time, and build a much stronger relationship, mending the parts that need fixing, reexamining the foundation of our relationship and building from there. Unfortunately the adversity we faced was stronger than our love for one another. And it is so incredibly sad. I feel like we have been apart for long enough to where we could try, slowly, to mend our relationship. Tempers have settled, anger subsided, the arguments and disagreements...some seem so silly looking at them now...the way we dealt with them does not look silly at all, I'm horrified at most of my behavior and myself in those situations. If I was where I am now, it never would have become that bad. For that, I am so so sorry. Think about before we got engaged...before the pressure of wedding planning and working at the same time...the reasons why we got engaged in the first place...it wasn't all wonderful all time but it was most of the time and there are instances I would like to change about those times as well. I know we could have that and more. If only we would work together, knowing neither of us ever wants to revisit this time in our lives. Ever. So so sad. I learned in therapy that I've missed you so much since before all of this happened. Fear and self preservation caused emotional walls to be put up. I tried to call you and tell you how I feel and what I've done and your response was that I was being manipulative. Pouring my heart out to you and you say I'm trying to manipulate you. I wasn't. I'm sorry I caused you to feel that way. I was telling you how I truly felt and how I am in the process of changing. I want to deal with issues in a productive, emotionally secure way. I want to address issues head on and not keep them to myself. Now when I have an issue with a client for example, I call them and tell them, or I visit them, rather than putting it off and avoiding it. I've made so much progress. When we first got together I said I would show you how much I cared for you and I did. You were skeptical about how I felt and whether I was just playing some game. You allowed me to show you once and your family and friends told me you were happier than they had ever seen you in your life. I got off track from that and I'm sorry. For many reasons. Some of which I have dealt with and the others I continue to deal with. I have techniques in place that are working to keep me on track personally and professionally and ways to ensure I never get off track again. I know (I think) part of your fear is due to your previous relationships where you have stayed in them too long to where you wished you had gotten out way sooner. And I agree that you stayed too long in them and fought and had a lot of pain caused and resentment. I think you see yourself possibly repeating the same mistake with me. I think that you gave the other relationships too much of a chance and ours not long enough. Dr. heitler would have told us not to get married. She would have told us if it was time to call it quits. She repeatedly said she thinks we can work through it but both of us had lots of emotional baggage that needed to be worked out. I think she was right. I don't think we exhausted the possibilities. If things were too destroyed, she would have said so. I have gone back through every email and tried to identify where things went wrong. I definitely pinpoint where certain things started going bad and identify my role in them. some things, like the Cymbalta and its effect on my sex drive became an underlying pervasive issue that I should have addressed but was scared to. Through my work with dale, I no longer have those fears of addressing things to the same extent. I am off the Cymbalta feel normal. Sex was such a big part of our relationship and I loved it. I loved having sex with you, being close to you, being intimate with you. I lost that completely because of the Cymbalta. It had nothing to do with you. the worst part was the Cymbalta made me indifferent to that. I am so sorry that my lack of affection toward you made you feel the way I did. It was horrible of me to not address that issue because I felt ok with it. I was so scared of having those racing thoughts of jealousy and suspicion. Looking back I see it was at a enormouos cost both to myself and to your self esteem. Not being on it, I don't feel like I'm in the clouds like I did and didn't realize. It numbed my sense of wellbeing, it didn't enhance it. It was impossible to tell that that was what was going on. I am so sad and so sorry. There are so many little things that if they had been addressed would have prevented all of this I think. If we could just slowly try, without the contempt and hatred and animosity...and get back to basics, starting with the oralsex cornerstone of relationship. :)"

"XXXXXX, you are a beautiful, intelligent, sensuous, kind and caring woman, . . ." YES! And you deserve a beautiful (in his heart!), intelligent, sensuous, KIND and CARING man!!!!!!! And definitely Not an eloquent manipulator. There is a reason why you are here with us on this forum. Just remember what he did and how you felt then. Actions speak louder than words!

he's full of shit. good letter writer. please delete. and move on. ''you are beautiful..bla bla bla'' as if you should only think this of yourself because HE says it. that's what they do. delete. move on. don't reply. it's all bullshit. seriously. stay strong!

I have practically the SAME letter sent to me by my N during his last, big attempt to save our relationship. It is uncanny. Proof that N's just have LEARNED what to say with NO REAL EMOTION behind it. He may even really be sorry...but he CAN'T follow through with "change" because people don't change their fundamental personality - they change behaviors sometimes and that is what he is doing here - as a ploy to get you to continue NS. When I got this same letter, I was at first touched...then ANGRY. I printed it out, made notes on the side lines about the total opposite comments he said/wrote just the week before. Because I was not in NC mode at that time, I called him on every point (ex: Today I am the most wonderful person in the world, last Thursday I was XYZ). I tell you this in the hope that you won't waste your time and energy like I did. Words are easy to come by. Writing is a skill, not an emotion. We deserve someone whose ACTIONS match his/her WORDS! So sorry you have to deal with this.

If you are intent in maintaining NC, don't open/read any further communication. It's the only way. You're not being fair to yourself by reading and thinking about what he says. It's just too, too hard. Technically, you're not really NC because you just had contact with a whole lotta his thoughts documented in that email. That's something to think about...

Ok. I will be the first to say it.........and will probably pay dearly for it. That letter would have had me. Sorry.............it was eloquently written. Can't help but say it. I do have some questions though, before giving my opinion........at first, I thought this was a letter from young, up and coming male, say in his early 30's until he mentioned his "long" life........that is where I grew somewhat concerned. I don't recollect your story, my apologies, so will try to go back and read them.............. I have to say, with all fairness and honesty. Not every man that possesses narc like characteristics, is a narc. We all possess narcissism, healthy levels.............it's what keeps us balanced and provides us with self esteem. I may be missing something..........so let me read first before I assess.

This is not about him stopping, it is about you stopping. He is not going to stop because he is able to easily control you and get away with his bad behavior. Why wouldn't he want to keep you in his life? He can have his cake and eat it too and send you crazy emails to play with your head some more. This ends when you end it. Put a block on your email account so that his emails do not go through and if you don't want to do this and still like to read them, then do it when you are ready to stop feeling this pain, or you can delete them. Reading them only keeps the drama alive in you and makes it nearly impossible to let go of him. This is your choice. God bless, Goldie