Married man wants to 'be friends'

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Done sourcing
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Smitten and friends and
Smitten and friends and married man...you know the answer...try a bookstore, lol ds
WakingUP (not verified)
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Your gut already told you.
Your gut already told you. Listen to your gut. Don't call him back. Telling you he's smitten is a big red flag - would a potential girlfriend say that?? NO. He's not interested in being just "friends." I agree, he's testing your boundaries. Oh, and "smitten" was the exact word my narc used early on. Its probably in the handbook.
Sunafterrain
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waking up!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! "It's probably in the handbook" LOL! This was one was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too obvious. RUN!
Deidre40
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sunafterrain
lol...I know, it should have been obvious. But, I honestly didn't think/know he was married. He acts very 'single,' for lack of a better word. When he started talking about his wife, it was so strange. And he mentioned her right after he said...he's smitten with me. lol WTF? I don't understand men anymore! (sorry done sourcing, you seem like a good man, though lol!) :=P i just figured out your username, sunafterrain. all this time, i thought it was...'sunafteratrain'' which i was like...how odd. lmao! See, this is why i'm oblivious to the obvious! lol
Deidre40
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lol--this made me laugh ''in
lol--this made me laugh ''in the handbook'' ...i hadn't even thought of him being a potential narc. how dumb is that? have i learned nothing?? i will write more when i'm home...
Happy1
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Don't reply to the jerk!
Don't reply to the jerk! That's just my opinion.
Deidre40
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I KNEW I came to the right
I KNEW I came to the right place with this. Looking back to last night’s IM session, after he made the comment about his wife…I asked if they ever work out together and he said…’’no, she’s not into that at all.’’ See where this is leading? Nowhere good! I just continued, and then said, I had to go…and this morning, was when I decided to send him the email. It just doesn’t feel right, and instead of ignoring this, I should heed your advice. So, do not reply? That’s it…just don’t reply? thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy1
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Deidre40
No reply is necesary. Remember these guys can sniff us out like hounds. If he persists then tell him under no circumstances will you be his quote friend.
Deidre40
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happy
thank you happy...i plan to not reply. you know what's rather sad though? this guy apologized, not even 'knowing' me all that well or for that long, and the ex N NEVER apologized! lmao! i give up.
Redhead1
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The only reason he apologized
The only reason he apologized was to get himself off of the hook because you called him out on his behavior. He is trying to save face. He didnt do it for you. Don't mean that in a mean way:)
Happy1
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D
I get ya! Mine never apoloigized to me either. But he sure seemed sincere and full of fake I'm sorry's to others. We need to remember this too. Hugs
Done sourcing
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Its a friggin record
you set the record, no date at all and you already have to go NC, and no response. Probably after 6 mos and a couple grand in therapy you will learn how to survive the loss :) ds careful (they're everywhere)
Deidre40
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done sourcing
HAHAHAHA!!!! I didn't even date him, and I'm going NC. hahahaha that's hilarious. i needed a laugh today. ;)
fooled no longer
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youve answered your own
youve answered your own question. Hes pushing your boundaries and testing your morals. want the bet, after you sleep with him hell say. "but I told you I was married". these scum suckers are all the same, friendship my arse, hes trolling for extra sex supply. why dont you listen to your own instinct . it is saying, keep away he's a lying deceptive shit. Second, stay away from gyms and internet dating sites, if you want a relationship or real friendships. both GYMS AND DATING SITES ARE INFESTED WITH NARCS> if you are worried you'll never find a man. living the rest of your life alone is far better than the terrible damage these shits bring to your life. STAY THE HECK AWAY!!!! the men there are almost always slime sucking predator putting out their nets. married men who really want to work out in the gym, get in there, do the exercise and go home. if they are hanging around online or in the gym. they are vermin. stay well away dont answer anything . send him a three line message "you are married I have nothing more to say to you".
Deidre40
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foolednolonger
((hugs)) and thank you for this. I really love your reply ...and I do plan to not reply back to him. I told him I was sorry for appearing flirty (when I found out he was married), and then he apologized ...and went into this long email. All I know is this. If I were his wife, and my husband were telling another woman he's smitten with her, I'd be pretty hurt. So...that's all I could think about when I sent that email this morning. I don't know if he's a narcissist, and perhaps my judgement is clouded because he's a christian man, he's a minister, actually. I can see all of you reading this right now...if I were a fly on your walls! lol Thanks for being here for me. I clearly still need advice when it comes to this, but the good news is...I'm taking it, and in my gut, I knew something was not right. Before the ex N...(and the one before him)...I might have fallen into a trap. @ dabussard...I appreciate your comment, because your story could really happen to anyone married. You're unhappy, and then someone like your ex strolls in, and there you go. And before you know it, you're wrapped up with a really bad guy.
How could I
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Oh My Lord
Oh My LORD, mine is clergy too!!!! STAY AWAY GIRL!!!!! This sounds like the same guy - same story!!!
dabussard
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My Dear Deidre
I agree with everyone else... My relationship with my N started out as friends... He knew I was married and that I just wanted to be friends... Next I knew he was telling me he loved me and uped the anti my wall came down and boom I was left raw and bleeding... We all know these narcs start out charming, loving, and we think that we have found our soul mate... Then Boom, we have found a monster... Please be careful!!!
Hunter
Hunter's picture
Sounds like a narc at work to
Sounds like a narc at work to me! I have many male friends, my field is mostly male, sometime they get out of line but I make sure the stay straight! It's all about boundaries! I don't like this dudes approach ! Just don't answer him anymore! Hunter
Layla
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You know the answer to this.
Any relationship you have to hide from your spouse is a relationship you SHOULDN'T BE HAVING. I am willing to bet the farm his wife knows NOTHING about his little chats on the internet at night. Saying you are Christian and acting "Christ-like" are two entirely different things, and I say this as a "Christian".....true followers of Christ know you leave and cleave to your WIFE, not lady-at-the-gym.......and you certainly don't keep secrets from her, either, and you can bet you are a "secret".....
Deidre40
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Layla
I agree...I would bet his wife doesn't know either. Last night, before he told me about his wife, there were these super long pauses. I kept typing to him...if you have to go, that's fine. He would then reply...oh, no...I was just distracted. Then, it would happen again...and he'd say...''I had to plug my computer in...'' and it went on and on and on like that. No...probably what was happening, is...he had to stop typing, because his wife was nearby, and when she came in the room, he probably minimized the window or screen or something. Once he told me about his wife, it all clicked. Ugh... I honestly don't care. I've only known this guy a few months, and have minimal chats. Just the past few weeks, have we talked a bit more about our faith, working out, and then he started expressing more of his 'feelings.' So...I wasn't falling in love. No worries there!
Sparrow
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This is one of those times I
This is one of those times I would say "WHAT WOULD HUNTER DO" I swear I am going to have bracelets made up that say "WWHD"........... She would say "Hark, Hark, I hear a Narc" And she would be right, as usual! Stay clear from him, he is poison and he is testing you. DON'T BITE, YOU WILL REGRET IT!
Deidre40
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sparrow
yes...what would hunter do. should be bumper stickers with that mantra. we love you, hunter! :=)
Happy1
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Hunter would have given him
Hunter would have given him her look and he would have walked away. :-)