Gosh I wish I had followed my gut...
We had only been dating for 12 days exactly when I had my first elbow to my stomach & I should have followed it! I feel so stupid for just letting it slide, along with the 3week mark, the 1 month mark, day after valentines, early march, st. patricks day, the ENTIRE month of April: those were all my chances but I donno what was FOGGING my head at the time! Seriously it just pisses me off...
I feel like most of on here are actually pretty successful, independent women, who truely are STRONG, and these *creatures* just suck the living daylights out of us & not in a nice way either ;)
Sorry you are having a hard day. I am going to recommend a great website as a resource for you:
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-bs-diet-why-you-need-to-stop-denying-minimising-and-rationalising/
She has a great blog and posts such great articles that have a way of cutting through all the BS.
We can never underestimate the power of the N and our relationships are all different. It takes work and effort to heal and recover but it is possible. But you weren't in the relationship alone, and it is not ALL your fault. This is a process that has not time line and you must be patient and go through the pain to get to the healing and growth.
wishing you all the best today! stay strong! you are in the right place!
Thanks for the site!
I sometimes still think I'm in denial and that he can't possibly be a Narc, I mean "how could I have picked up a psycho?" ahhhhhhhhhh! This will end... I know it... I just feel like it was two short to EVEN be down the way I am somedays- if mentally beating yourself up could kill you... ha.. yeah I woudn't be here!
Thanks!!!
also this article is great!
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/if-only-i-couldve-raking-over-what-you-think-were-your-mistakes/
Kiwi
I was in disbelief for a long while also. Heres the thing ok ? just go easy on yourself and take it day by day or moment by moment. It was hard for me to accept it, but either way I don't want him with what his actions showed me. i don't have to get down to diagnosing him , because his actions speak for him. It's up to me to learn to accept what happened, heal and move on so I can make room for people in my life that CAN love me back. This is a journey but it promises us a better life if we can do the work.
take care
You're definitely right about accepting it. There are days that I have no trouble seeing past his ways... its actually funny, there were plenty of days I'd want to hear from him & the second he texted/called I'd think "wow you really are a pathological, NPD, psycho" and I'd be on with my day...
But not hearing from him gives my head time to try to assess it I guess? Then I see all these signs and try to figure out why I ignored them? OVERANALYZING should be my first name!!!
Thanks! I will definitely be close to the forum today and this website you provided!
Kiwi
Hunter
Hey Kiwi
momoya
Momoya
Disbelief
momoya
Momoya