I found my laughter again

By the time I made it here to the forum I had lost my laughter. That sincere belly laugh was nowhere to be found. The N/P had sucked the last little chuckle out of me.

One day I was acting silly around the Narc and he said: "Why are you acting like that, you never act like that." I froze dead in my tracks and I thought to myself. What is he talking about? I am silly and playful all the time. NOT, I had not been silly and playful for a long time.

The Goldie who enjoyed silly banter, laughting wholeheartedly, and the playful Goldie was lost, missing in action.

This selfish, lying, cheating, stealing, using, drug addicted, manipulative, perverted, blood sucking, dark hole of deception had sucked the life out of me.

I had lost myself to his disorder. He was attempting to suck me over to the other-side. His world where there is no geniune joy and laughter. Where everything is a sham, a hoax. A world of false persona's, fake personalities, pretend emotions, with rage and fear at every turn. His sick twisted deviant play ground.

Today I have my laughter back; I have myself back. That my friends is the true miracle of recovery. The ability to laugh freely and to feel freely again. Freedom from bondage.

The Six Steps of Recovery work if you work them and I worked them and I am here to tell you that in time, your laughter will return and you will eventually return home to yourself. The best gift we can give ourselves in a great relationship with ourselves.

It all begins with self love, approval, and self esteem. Take back your power and do something good for you today. You works, if you work it, and you are worth it.

God bless,
Goldie

For additonal support, to join one of our support groups, or to speak with Goldie directly, http://www.lisaescott.com/blog/goldie

August 6, 2013 - 2:56pm
cargis33
cargis33's picture

It has been five months since

April 29, 2012 - 12:28am
Im_always_fine
Im_always_fine's picture

Yes...laughing a lot lately.

April 27, 2012 - 11:51pm
aronhally84112wsss
aronhally84112wsss's picture

I bonk my laughter position;

April 21, 2012 - 7:13pm
sharlenemorgan
sharlenemorgan's picture

belly laugh

April 21, 2012 - 1:57pm
Run4it
Run4it's picture

How true it is Goldie! That

April 20, 2012 - 12:54am
Breakingfree24
Breakingfree24's picture

It's a beautiful thing!

April 21, 2012 - 12:34pm (Reply to #8)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

I love this!

April 19, 2012 - 11:07pm
greengirl91
greengirl91's picture

Goldie, I did too..one day it

April 19, 2012 - 9:26pm
Nellywhoa
Nellywhoa's picture

I called mine "The Joy

April 19, 2012 - 8:40pm
Movingforwardnow
Movingforwardnow's picture

Great post

April 19, 2012 - 8:03pm
rosedewittbukater
rosedewittbukater's picture

Great post Goldie

April 19, 2012 - 9:15am
Janie53
Janie53's picture

Thanks Goldie

April 19, 2012 - 8:33am
Layla
Layla's picture

Thank you for this post.

April 20, 2012 - 12:47am (Reply to #1)
Breakingfree24
Breakingfree24's picture

LMAO!