All About Him Forum

Hi all,

I truly hope I'm in the correct area, I badly need some words of wisdom / advice.

I met my possible narc 20 months ago, pretty typical narc behaviour - I was bombarded with love and moved in very quickly. Since then things have been on a down ward spiral.

So I was here years ago after a 2 yr relationship with a narc. He'd left me completely devastated to the point that I was in no hurry to open myself up to any man again, but over the years I learned A LOT about narcs. About 1 1/2 yrs after the breakup, I was singled out by a former college/NFL player at our local bar (so yes, he seems to have a big ego, but I've always ignored it as I don't get "star struck" and initially didn't care about him). We'd run into each other a few times after that, but it was months before we started a very "casual" relationship.

Hi all, this seems like a great community and I am hoping that maybe you will be able to help me make sense of a situation. Sorry if this is a long story, I will shorten it where possible.

It is difficult to begin when you really don't know where to begin.

I've read a LOT of the posts on here. He would say they are a bunch of whiners. But I know. You can't escape something that rings true over and over.

Sadly I was a broken woman. And he was quickly to pounce.

It was easy to point out my flaws because I had many. I had a good heart, but it didn't matter. Because when you deal with a master manipulator, your flaws are the key.

This is my second attempt at NC. Blocked him on Facebook (business and personal), blocked him on my phone, so a month later he finds and adds me on Instagram, then he creates a new Facebook account to message me and friend me on. He messaged me "Why the blocking?" and I thought "Indeed, why do I bother?!?! He will just slither in the back window while I am locking the front door..." Wtf...will this ever end?! This is so damned hard. I can't remember ever feeling so strongly for a man, why is it that the only one I want ends up being completely toxic and broken?!

My story is a bit odd in the fact that I don't think my boyfriend is what one would consider a "typical narcissist-ie.,. comments always peppered with pronouns of "I" and "me" and he isn't overly flashy nor does he come across as an egomaniac. However, since we started dating, there have been SO many red flags, particularly with his ex wife that I just can't help but notice what he presents as a bit "off" with the truth. So, here we go.....and I appreciate as much feedback as possible, as I am feeling like the "crazy and ungrateful girlfriend as the moment."

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My narc bf said final stage of love is sex.I said I don't agree with him,he said what is the purpose of love? Then why love? I asked why parents love their children? What is the purpose? Parents don't get physically intimate with their children,then he said Parents love their children to feed them in old age that is the final intention.I felt bad hearing all that said by him

Im Erica, 32 years old from the Netherlands.