Zoe's Story

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#1 Oct 10 - 5PM
Zoe's picture

Zoe's Story

NC feels good this time.

Im new here...Im so glad I have found a place where there are oters that really understand the pull that a Narc has and that we have all gone back for more. Not his time...

I met Rob in October last year. He is a life guard at my local beach and when we started seeing each other it was really just a bit of fun. Sex was unbelieveable. Passionate and intense. I didnt really notice at the time though that there was a real lack of intimacy....how I missed that I dont know. He told me straight away about his traumatic childhood. His first memory was of seeing his schizophrenic father hold a knife to his mother throat. He spent his his whole childhood running for his life and saving his own. At first he was really full on. Wanting to see me all the time. A million calls and texts. Then I started to think there was more to it than there was. I started to complain that he never ( he never did did except one coffee date ) ever took me out. He wouldnt be seen in public with me. But in private he was affectionate and I felt close to him.

Then suddenly he went MIA for about 2 or 3 weeks....I had no idea what I had done. (I now know he had found another supply ) People started telling to stay away from him, that he was messed up. Then one day out of the blue he called and said that he gets down sometimes and goes to a "dark place" and that he needs to be alone during those times. I find out over the course of seeing him that he is a cutter and has been suicidal for the most part of his adult life, that he has been on and off medication....Still I have already fallen for him and will do anything to impress him and get his attention and love. He starts telling me about his last and only girlfriend he has lived with. Amy....Amy, Amy, Amy....its all I hear about. He still loves her and she still loves him but they cant be together because he doesnt want kids....he left her for this reason. Im dying to ask her if he did the same to her....but he says they are still friends...they live across the road from each other.

He starts saying things like....I saw a girl on the beach that looked just like you but hotter...and then he would look at me closely to see my reaction. Things like...Ill never love you, but you are fun and convenient.
Then one day I woke up in pain...down there...he had given me herpes. I was devastated and desperate to keep him. I told him it didnt matter that nothing needed to change...he went MIA again for 3 weeks and suddenly charmed his way back into my life. After this he stopped kissing me and touching me but still wanted sex. It got rougher to the point where it was bordering on violent. He tore me severly and never once apologised for the herpes or the damage he had done. By this point I felt completely worn down. He had this weird power over me and I knew it was unhealthy but I felt powerless to stop it.

Each time he went MIA I was desperate to keep him. He started saying to me "Im an asshole and you keep coming back for more" Idiotically I would nod and say " Yes you are and I treat you so well, I dont know why I come back" and we would both laugh...I must look like a psycho....I cant believe what I did to myself and what I aloowed him to do.

This pattern repeated itself over and over with the highs getting higher and the lows getting lower. Then I started to get it. I questioned his motives all the time. Questioned what he said and his weird behaviour. When I did he would rage on me....and stop talking to me for weeks....even his friends told me I was better off without him. (after I introduced my self to them on the street knowing who they were...I was always his dirty little secret)

This time round I offered to get him help....well you would have thought I chopped his arm off. While I was at it I had a go at him for giving me herpes. His response was to call me every name under the sun. The "c" word...all of them and then he told me to never contact him again. He hung up and I sent him a text saying that I had learnt a lot, thanks for the journey, take care....he replied with "I was actually going to come and see you until that call" Im an idiot so I immediately responded saying I would have time for him this week. I havent heard from him thankfully because I want to take back what I said. I dont have time for him this week...or ever.

My red flags

* He wouldnt let me know where he lived...ever
* He wouldnt be seen witn me in public
* He has an unnatural closeness with his mother
* His mood swings were severe, I never knew which Rob I was getting
* He has a lot of close female friends...all of them ex's
* He swung in and out of favor with his friends
* He was the best at all of his sporting events. He won (he says) everything he has been in. I must say here though that he is an elite athlete but his exageration of his placings was pretty full on. He always beat someone half his age etc etc. Oh yes and the olypians that he was better than.
* He would build me up and tear me down.
* He liked to see me in physical pain. If he massaged me he whole face would change...he would hold me down and tell me it was good for me until I kicked him off with tears in my eyes...then I was "weak"

Nov 16 - 9AM
Deidre99's picture

I'm so sorry you suffered

Nov 11 - 3AM
Sickofhim's picture

Hi Zoe...I too struggled

Oct 28 - 1PM
perplexed penny
perplexed penny's picture

Hi Zoe, I'mn new too just posted my story, hope I get replies

Oct 10 - 5PM
Zoe's picture

I posted without

Oct 10 - 6PM (Reply to #7)
Janie53's picture


Oct 10 - 6PM (Reply to #8)
Zoe's picture

Thanks Janie, I have started

Nov 5 - 6PM (Reply to #9)
confused83's picture

Congrats on going NC

Oct 10 - 6PM (Reply to #2)
Lovely1's picture

You were narced, brainwashed,

Nov 5 - 6PM (Reply to #6)
confused83's picture

I so agree with you, because

Oct 10 - 6PM (Reply to #3)
Zoe's picture

Thanks Lovely, I know that in

Oct 10 - 7PM (Reply to #4)
Lovely1's picture

He didn't know where you

Oct 10 - 7PM (Reply to #5)
Zoe's picture

Thats what NC is about right?