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You want to know what breaking the no contact rule got me!!!!

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#1 Oct 12 - 8PM
gratefuljen
gratefuljen's picture

You want to know what breaking the no contact rule got me!!!!

I don't know, I think it is close to a week ago, maybe a little less, when I broke the golden nc rule.

I broke it by texting, and I ripped him a new ass hole.

It didn't make me feel any better.

It brought back the pain, it brought back the magical thinking, it brought back insanity, I actually missed him for a second.

The the truth came flooding back in. He is a predator. I deserve so much better than a no conscience, no internal strength of a man.

I will never ever break it again. I will never go down on his level. I want to thank all of the ladies on here who give me strength. I do listen. I do pay attention. This is serious business. I will never let a man abuse me again. It's over. I am in my recovery, and I will never break the no contact rule again. For me!!!!

Nor for the mother fucker n/p that destroys people in his path.

Love to all, except n/p and other pd people.

Jen

Oct 13 - 5PM
Crazy Train
Crazy Train's picture

I'm with you, Jen. Broke my

I'm with you, Jen. Broke my 6 weeks of NC yesterday & the day before. And I thought I could control my feelings with everything that I now know about N & PD. But guess what? NOT SO MUCH. Today, I am tearful. The emotions of the original fantasy fresh in my mind again. Seeing him made me melt inside. All the shit he did to me went right out the window. All I saw standing there was my fantasy man, who was happy to see me, acting caring & affectionate. Today, nothing from him. Back to his usual m.o. NC has begun again....
Oct 12 - 10PM
Layla
Layla's picture

Oh my gosh I probably shouldn't laugh!

LOL! "Love to all, except n/p and other pd people" I had a glass of wine winding down before bed and I guess this just struck me as funny! YAY YOU JEN! Sometimes some of us lift the NC veil and get the inevitable, which of course is MORE BULLSHIT and HURT. The good thing is, you learned the lesson (which is probably all you really needed! One more gentle reminder of how F'd up he is!) And you posted here and shared which helps remind ALL OF US that contact with these disordered is a very not-so-good-thing! Bravo to you for being generous and humble enough to share the lesson! My hat is off to you, my lady!!! Back in the saddle with NC for you, and away we go!!!!! Peace and healing ahead! love~ Layla
Oct 12 - 8PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Wahooooooo!! Make the actions

Wahooooooo!! Make the actions match the words!! Hunter
Oct 12 - 9PM (Reply to #2)
gratefuljen
gratefuljen's picture

I know, I hope i do.

I know hunter. That's where it counts. Action, not empty promises. I hear ya. I am making a commitment to you all and myself not to make contact again. My date is October 6, 2011 Jen
Oct 14 - 10PM (Reply to #3)
Redhead1
Redhead1's picture

My ex narc text me one day

My ex narc text me one day this week to tell me something about our 20 year old son that our 20 year old son could have told me and would have told me. Because he thought I should know. lol I am PMSing this week. I was sitting at lunch with a gf when this text come through and I was going to text him back, "Maybe you should have told me you had another woman, now thats something you should have told me." "Don't be hoovering me you POS. After not reacting to him for 1 1/2 yrs now, I was gonna throw a blow. She stopped me and told me I need to go to my forum and see what they would say. I told her, no I don't need to go there. I know what Hunter would say. "Do you like laying there in fetal position, crying, hurting like hell?" My answer is no. Good friends are everywhere:)