Yee Haw! Give's Myself a High 5!

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#1 May 21 - 9PM
livewpsycobabble
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Yee Haw! Give's Myself a High 5!

Finally damn!
Long story short. Narc wants me out of his house by Sunday when he gets back. Yee Haw!!!

Kinda overwhelmed at this time. Got stuff everywhere.

WOW! Can breath again!

May 26 - 1PM
livewpsycobabble
livewpsycobabble's picture

Thank you Barbara

I read everything above and cried. It's all true. He uses sex as his form of love. Not just with me, but with every woman he encounters. I know it in my gut, I've witnessed it right before my eyes. The flirting and sexual talk. Why can't he just let me go???? Why can't I just go??? Last night was just bad so very bad. He gets home from work and is STILL in his arrogant mood. I'm cooking his very favorite dinner (liver & onions) Gag!! He's outside mowing the back 40 and weed wacking. I'm starting to fume cuz' a year ago he "demanded" that dinner be no later than 7:00 pm. He always wants me to track his as* down and let him know dinner is ready. I really hate that and it's now going on 7:30. Called his cell phone twice with no answer. Finally run through the sprinklers because he is also watering the back yard, track him down and say; "Are you done playing yet?" He gives me that little boy look and says; "Is dinner ready?" I exploded! Looked him in the eyes and said; "Let's get something straight right here and right now. Your require that I have dinner ready no later than 7:00 (he say's I require nothing of you) I say; "A year ago you required that I have your dinner ready by 7:00 do you not remember? Told him that I will not track his butt down on hell's half acre like a mother looking for her son in the neighborhood for dinner. He said; "I had no clue what time it was" I exploded again. Told him; "Sorry you don't own a watch, maybe you should buy one or check the time on your cell phone more often!" He said he would pass on dinner. I told him I'm making it expecially for you and he said no thanks. I packed a bag. Left him a note saying Be back tomorrow. If you can be an arrogant as* so can I. I got a room at the Inn. God help me! Seems to be what I'm doing more and more. Sleeping on the couch, in the spare bedroom, getting motel rooms, sleeping at my parents! I love my parents and they are stressful. So much support and tell me to get the hell out. I WANT to and can't seem to! Counseling has not helped much. Teaches ways to talk with the Narc. I try and try. His rules always change and keep me confused and in limbo. So here I am...back here. Left the Motel 15 minutes before check out. Watched the View regarding Jesse James. Poor baby! Abused admits to being an abuser! Poor thing!! God! I just need him to let me go! This bizzare world he is keeping me in is killing me! Oh, and he took the liberty to go through my computer last night! Yes, I checked it out when I got back to the hell house. LOL and Big Sigh
May 21 - 10PM
livewpsycobabble
livewpsycobabble's picture

Wow

Deep breath!! Just Wow! I have read and lost sleep and learned alot here. Finally, "master" wants me out. Really, he tore up the back room in a rage and wanted to know what to tell the friends on the other side of the mountain. Pffff, tell them what you please I said. Been packing. Need lots more boxes! LOL! ROFL! Finally!! K, anyone who has read my messages know where I stand. Waiting for Mr Wonderful to kick my ass out!! Day has come!! Got 48 hours to get my stuff outta' here! Yee Haw!
May 22 - 2AM (Reply to #2)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

livewpsycobabble

make sure to: Get a PO box for mail forwarding and DO NOT TELL HIM YOUR NEW ADDRESS get an UNLISTED PHONE get good LOCKS ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 22 - 9AM (Reply to #3)
livewpsycobabble
livewpsycobabble's picture

Barbara

Thank you for your great advise. I will be moving in with my parents since my house is still under a rental contract. They already have installed motion sensor lights and surveilance camera's. Their sub-division has one of those central location mail box things for all residents and are all locked. Unfortunately they only live 2 1/2 miles down the road.
May 25 - 5PM (Reply to #4)
livewpsycobabble
livewpsycobabble's picture

I Must Be Insane

What the he** is wrong with me? So I'm still here. Sent a text on Saturday asking if I heard him right (that he wanted me out of the house by the time he got back.) I was questioning myself because that Friday afternoon I drank a bottle of wine in 3 hours. I've never been a light weight, but I was second quessing myself. After no response in an hour I resent it. He finally called another hour later (he hardly ever sends serious texts or emails.) I suppose it's because I would have something in writing to hold him accountable for when his story changed. Ragged on me saying if I was coherent at the time I would have heard..."if you feel that way about me then why are you with me?!" I WAS coherent. I knew enough not to get in that car and ride 4 hours over the mountain to spend a weekend with his friends and him being pissy all the way there. Gads! Anyway, he got louder and worse so I hung up the phone. NC I figure he was saying it all in front of His friends to make him look big. I slept most of the weekend and wondered what I was going to do with my life during my awake time. I felt sick, sad, alone, lost and wished to vomit. He showed up Sunday afternoon looking like a highway wreck. I greeted him with a hug and welcome back and went back to the couch and my movie. Not another word between us. I slept on the couch that night. Yes, by my choice. That brings me up to yesterday morning. Pretending to be asleep on the couch all cuddled up to my cat. He's in his arrogant voice says "Bye" I say nothing cuz' I'm sleeping. After he is gone I get up and dressed, do some packing and cry. It hurts so much! I'm also angry cuz' I'm getting to be a good lier. You lie to me? I lie right back to you and how does that feel? LOL, I know Barbara not worth it! K, last night I'm still on the couch! I did shower, dishes, some laundry but my head was about to explode! Fast foward. We end up having great sex last night. He always wants sex (without a prostrate). For me last night was passion. My head was in the mood. Later when we are in bed I tell him that was great make up sex. He's saying; "What? Make up sex? What is that?" There's your sign! I much be insane!!
May 25 - 6PM (Reply to #5)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

livewpsy...

Do you feel crazy and confused?? BAM, his mission was accomplished. Sorry to say, you fell for one of the worst N tricks...gaslighting, manipulation...making you think one thing, but in reality something much different happened. But, take heart that we all are here because we fell for the same BS in the first place. He sealed the deal by stirring up those bonding hormones with 'great sex'. So now, you're in the same place as before. That stupid a-hole screwed with your head, and got what he wanted. You may not really see it, but we are here to tell you that's exactly what's going on. The cycle will keep going too, he'll get pissed, say it's OVER, loud and clear...go have his life elsewhere...then call you and say something ridiculous like, "I only said that because I thought you were unhappy"! You're NOT insane, just ensnared in one of the worst traps possible. It's going to take a huge leap of faith for you to get out of it, and a lot of work to stay out. I can only tell you that the work involved is very much worth the end result...NO MORE N.
May 25 - 9PM (Reply to #6)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

one more time...

The early days of being wooed and lured by a pathological are the most exciting times that women remember. Consistently described as “charming” the pathological is irresistible in his personality traits. Women described him as “a charming and engaging conversationalist, agreeable, insightful, sweet, twinkling eyes, a compelling talker, funny, a great storyteller, fun to be with, delightful, exciting, companionable, loyal, enthusiastic, upbeat, fun-loving, intense, and sensitive.” From this list of traits, it’s easy to see why women are enamored with his personality. By this list, what’s not to like? During the luring stage, he is highly complimentary. Pathologicals use intensity and then flattery to overwhelm her emotionally, and then set her at ease. The purpose of the luring stage is to hook her. The purpose of the honeymoon stage is to hoodwink her. In the pathological’s arsenal to achieve this hooking and hoodwinking, is any person, place, thing, word, or behavior that will sell her on his illusion. While she is reeling in flattery, swimming in the bonding-hormone oxytocin (from all the sex), and snuggling up to his stories of their future lives together… the pathological is solidifying his internal imprint in her by his use of trance and capitalizing on her suggestibility. ~~~~ The bonding hormone oxytocin is one of the most powerful natural anti-anxiety chemicals there is! That is why sex is so relaxing. During sex, oxytocin is released and you feel not only happy and bonded with your mate, but afterwards, you are relaxed and anxiety-free. Early in the relationship, the pathological isolates his woman from the rest of the world and her social network. Therefore, she has little emotional support from others that would normally serve to help her reduce or manage her anxiety effectively. Being with a pathological is anxiety-producing. The pathological has a fight with her raising her level of anxiety. She thinks about leaving or takes steps to leave the relationship and that triggers profound anxiety in her. Without friends and family as support to help her manage her anxiety, she is in need of anxiety relief. She turns to the pathological himself—both the creator and reliever of stress. He gratefully relieves her anxiety through sex. She feels closer to him during sex, hormones are released, and afterwards she is indeed, momentarily less anxious. And with her hyper-hopefulness, she believes they will reconnect during sex and it will heal the current conflict. The excitement seeking in her that found the pathological’s extraversion attractive is now hitting the wall and causing extreme emotional exhaustion. The adrenaline rush she used to have at his “edginess,” “risk-taking behavior,” or just his extraverted dominance is beginning to burn itself out. The drama, the highs and lows, the daily power struggles, the weekly uncovering of some new lie and the constant fear of being abandoned are all now producing fatigue. A dichotomy exists between the excitement she still feels with him when the relationship is smooth (which is becoming less frequent) and the utter exhaustion that comes from being in a relationship with a pathological. The pathological has a remarkable relationship thermometer and when he senses her distress at the relationship that may cause her to give up altogether, the pathological can turn it around by sparking the relationship fires again. For the short term, he may use all the excitement techniques that he knows she likes. The woman rides a roller coaster of adrenaline and fatigue that will last far beyond the time she spends with him. The exhaustion can also come from not only the emotional roller coaster of life with a pathological but also from the pacing of their lives together. Since many pathologicals need much less sleep than normal people, lack of sleep is likely to catch up with her. The pathological consistently keeps her awake, demanding her company while he watches TV, picks fights, or wants marathon sex. Her diet, exercise, down-time, spiritual practices, and friendships all go by the wayside while her stress levels increase. The fast-paced lifestyle contributes to a total deterioration in her health. Her physical exhaustion can greatly increase her emotional fatigability. She is now unable to hold her ground against the pathological, and despite the exhaustion, she remains hypnotized, fixated on his extraverted, often very sexual, highly exciting persona. Sandra Brown, MA - WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 25 - 9PM (Reply to #7)
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

one question to Barbara about one more time post....

please Barbara ,you said he creates stress and then he relieves the stress trough sex....In my case he wouldn't even touch me or even let me touch him,he just withdraw sex,affection,any physical contact and sometimes went gaming for hours without even look at me....i was 2 months with him at his home....i think he hugged me 4 times in 2 months ...but when i got there we had sex 2times and 10 hours later he just ignored me...Is it normal that after ayear and 5 months ,therapy and all i am still not ok?i am feeling like a freak...Yesterday i started going to the gym,hoping that my self esteem will increase...Thanks ...

Aceonelady

May 25 - 9PM (Reply to #8)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

aceonelady

you're not even close to the 18 month mark Took me well over 18 months, btw this one brainwashed you big time... he created 'sexual excitement' for you verbally online & the phone, I believe - which causes the release of the SAME hormones... doesn't have to be actual physical sex for him to do it ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 25 - 9PM (Reply to #9)
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

thanks Barbara

Yes that how it went...Skype chats for over a year and 8 months....A lot of sex talks...i feel like a dog that was hungry and he held the bacon for my nose gave me a little piece and then kicked me hungry on the streets again...But thanks to you and this place i can see now it wasn't me....And that is a lot worth for me Thanks again...

Aceonelady

May 25 - 10PM (Reply to #10)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

aceonelady

read my story that is EXACTLY what Psycho-Boy did to me ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller