The worst punishment for the narcissist....

Mine appeared polite & affable. But he was no fun. He was no charmer in a group. In fact, rather silent & taciturn. Mine is French. When I met him, he had been in the States a short period of time & was still trying to get his English fluency up. I made excuses for his silence at the time because I thought that he was not understanding the English conversations. But we went to France & had a series of dinners with his colleagues whom he was very impressed with. I was surprised at how little my N participated in the conversations which were occurring in his own language. Acually, I think N was invited to this series of dinners because his colleagues wanted ME. They wanted to speak with this foreigner whom N snagged. Thereafter, I was often in the presence of these colleagues. I think they were all rather impressed with me, liked me, & suddenly started including him into certain activities because they wanted me. My N's profession is a rather male dominated world. So a pretty & educated woman is always a welcome addition. And, I know, N refused to bring the woman who replaced me to meet these colleagues. He made clear to her that after me, she would be a disappointment to his colleagues. How's that for a D&D? And you ladies imagine that they are different with the NW?

Listen, yes hes a narc, because if he isnt, neither is mine. mine had no use for small talk, idle chit chat, or for that matter, having any conversations. He used to say, you talk to much, im watching this, i dont want to listen, on the phone forget it, he would crawl out of his own skin, he prefers texting, because then no one knows what a dull, lifeless vampire he truly is. He has no real friends, just his looser friends he sits at bars with on the weekends. they all think they are still in hs, and sit around drinking, smoking pot, and get this, they sniff coke, oh my God, get out of the eighties, you bunch of loosers........ewwwwwwww, so trust me, narcs, especially the dangerous ones, hate to chat, they are to interested in thinking about their next move, or how many lives they have going on at the moment.......mine would be plotting how he would see his ow, screw his fuck buddy, call his other fuck buddies, and come home and pretend to be my husband, he did this for twenty five years, and guess what, he talks even less now...........maybe by the time he is 60 he will be mute.........lol

He just sounds like an antisocial narc. No need for doubts to slow your recovery. journey on...

mine was the same way and even asked me once why i made small talk with other people, I looked at him like he was from another planet and said that is what makes the world go around, he was from another planet, send him back!!!!!!!!!!!!!He is probably a narc, mine sure is.

Hi Alisa, That was mine too. He sorta had all this nervous energy. I noticed it too right away. We chatted for 5 days on the phone before we even met. I even said to him during one of those phone conversations, "You seem nervous". He said,"No, why do you say that?" and I said, "Because you're talking so fast and I can barely understand what your saying". He laughed ALL the time....sorta giggly. I attributed it to him being hyper. Now I know he IS hyper, always has to be on the go, and gets bored easily. When I described this to a good friend, she said that it almost sounded like he was "speeding". I don't think he does drugs, but who the heck knows.

I've been NC for just over 5 weeks now. But the day it all finally went down it was very strange. He had given me the BIG D & D several weeks before, but we were still locked in "the dance." There had been several attempts at NC during this time on my part. He would call or text and I would ignore it for a couple of days and finally give in and respond. There was fighting, me venting and getting things off my chest, trying to get closure, blah, blah, blah. But the LAST day of contact, we actually had a fairly "decent" conversation (in comparison to others.) That night we were texting as follow-up to earlier in the day, and in true Narc fashion, he turned on me at one point and got nasty when I wasn't even attacking him. I was expressing my feelings and wasn't being negative or argumentative. But it deteriorated to the point that the last thing he wrote to me was, "Don't ever contact me again in any form. No calls, emails or texts." And that was that, except for the final text I sent him saying he was dead to me now and would never hear from me again. Neither one of us has made an attempt to contact the other. SO. My questions are: Since HE told ME not to contact him anymore, is he relieved I haven't? Was it a challenge because he didn't think I'd be able to resist trying in some way at some point? Is he really affected by my NC with him like HE wanted? Is his ego bruised at all? Is he pissed because he lost control? Does he even notice? Does he even think of me (the supply I gave him and miss it?) I would love to think I'm driving him crazy right now (realizing that it's just because he's frustrated, angered, whatever it is he feels when he doesn't get his way.) He has ample supply right now with the new GF he gets to spend all his free time with, unlike me because I live on the other side of the country. And he's getting supply from family and friends who are all "applauding" this new relationship.

Good Advice! My therapist told me the only way I will ever get revenge is to ignore him.

Interesting that your's needed chatter. Mine said to me once, "I talk a lot when I have nothing to say". Now I'm wondering what he meant by that. Hmmmm.