woollifted's story

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#1 Jan 9 - 8AM
woollifted
woollifted's picture

woollifted's story

I was always his 'princess'

I am new here so hello to you all. I would like to start by listing some of the things he did so please excuse me if it is quite long winded as it will help me 'get it out' so to speak. I have been narc free for nearly one month and it is the first time in 3.5 years that I have finally had the confidence to walk away. That's not to say that the last month I have not heard from my narc. Oh no, he contacted me continually until I changed my number. Also told he had tried to commit suicide 3 times since I stopped talking to him...uh huh..

Anyway. Here is a selection of his behavior at his worst:

* Told me he was a stock broker when we met. He was not

* Put on a suit everyday and pretended to go to work for 8 months! When I finally became suspicious as to why he never socialised with work he drove one hour away to a bar and as soon as we arrived told me they had left! Found out shorty after he was on job seekers allowance and no, I still do not know where he was getting his money from.

*He would talk in depth about his sexual conquests and when we began dating he would leave me at the bar to pick up women with his friend. If a guy came over to me at that point he would run over and start shouting abuse at the guy.

*Asked me to open a bank account for him to put money into. He then took all my overdraft without telling me (I did get it back after throwing a huge tantrum)

*Appeared on EVERY SINGLE night out that I ever went out without him. Sometimes he would watch for a while before coming over and ruining my night.

*On nights out with him he would pretend to go to the bathroom and then hide behind the pillar and as soon as a guy came over he would run out screaming abuse.

*He would get everyone of my family members drunk so he could question them and use whatever they said as future ammo.

*Cried and I mean balled his eyes out whenever he got caught in some of his most outrageous lies

*Booked a holiday with the boys to Mexico. I didn't believe him as before he went he was looking up the price of hookers for Vegas. He sent me fake flight details and photos. I only found out when I broke into his facebook and found he did go to Vegas and he did sleep with a married woman and everything else that moved.

*When we were living in Sydney and I found out about Vegas and dumped him he pretended to go back to the UK and again send me flight documents. He actually hid in his house for the week and text me form a UK number so there would be a time difference!

*Slept with hookers. Once we were walking down Kings Cross in Sydney and a hooker comes walking down the road. He flung me into to the nearest coffee shop and when we came back out she hadn't walked past yet so he flung me in the pharmacy. He was so nervous that I knew then that he had been sleeping with everything.

*He had terrible recognition skills and he once came on to a friend that I worked with. When she said that she worked with me he said he didn't know what she was talking about. Needless to say when she told me he was trying to grab her arse I was highly embarrassed.

*He stalked me everyday in Sydney until out of loneliness I went back to him!

*After 2 weeks of dating he told me he loved me. After 3 weeks he was going to marry me. He proposed so many times that I have lost count. He never had a ring. He also wanted me pregnant as soon as possible.

*As soon as I was back with him he didn't want me. As soon as I left him he wanted me.

*Would always ask if his d*ck was the best, his body etc. Would tell me I could never do better and that even if I left and married someone else I would always want to f*ck him.

*One night in Sydney he went out and came back at 2am screaming that he had been locked up in a cell for fighting. I didn't believe him and it turns out he had taken 2 girls that were staying at the lodge out for drinks with his work mates while he had left me at home!

*Every time we went out he needed to be centre of attention. He used to shout, scream, cause fights, buy all the drinks for everyone to show his wealth (which he didn't have). Every time he got home he would punch the walls (luckily never me)

*He would call me 30 times a day. Even more if I did not answer. If I didn't answer he would always say 'If you don't answer princess I will be so worried I will have to come to the flat' Of course it was control.

*I had no friends when I was with him and any friends I did have he hated! He would also say to them in front of me 'If I wasn't with Amy I would so be with you' When I confronted him he said he was just trying to make them feel better.

*He would always treat me to food and dinners and then push me to eat his. He always tried to force me to eat. Perhaps he wanted me to put on weight?

*After one night out and an argument he slashed up his wrists. Not deep of course. He just wanted to stop me from leaving

*He also carved an A in his face with a knife

*He made so many promises and broke everyone of them.

*He read my diaries

*He continually checked my phone. Broke into emails

*Threatened to kill me if I left

*Said he had a job interview for Goldman Sachs. He hadn't. Then again pretended to work and I had to ring the office and of course they had never heard of him.

*Joined a dating site when we were together. When confronted as I has the bill from the bank he said that someone had used his card!

*He would change personalities to suit the person he was with. It was truly bizarre watching him change his mannerisms, his voice, everything!

*He pretended to be multiple people and sometimes he would text me from different sim cards pretending to be other men to see if I would 'admit' to being unfaithful! Recently as I had cut contact he text-ed me pretending to be a recruiter offering me a job under a totally different name.

*Said his ex had died in a car crash. When I looked at him and said 'what, have you been having sex with her and now your afraid I might find out so you prefer to tell me she is dead?' He looked so shocked and even then had the cheek to smirk

*Told me he had cancer when he didn't

*Slept with a friend of mine for 3 weeks behind my back

* Said that he had sold his soul to the devil and he couldn't wait to go to hell and if I went to heaven he would come up there and drag me down with him

* Recently as I was ignoring him he came into my hall way as he waits until people leave the house to get in and started hoovering my landing so he wouldn't be thrown out.

Anyway. I think that's enough. There is so much but I don't want to go on too much. Why did I stay? Scared I guess but everyday I get stronger. I was missing him (I know I have been brainwashed) but after writing this I feel much better.

Thank you for reading! xxx

Jan 9 - 6PM
matahari
matahari's picture

wow!

wow!!the guy is not the full ticket....I am glad for you that you have finally made the right decision..you will find with nc you will start to heal and life will get much better. This man is a psychopath....Run for the hills! You have come to the right place...we have all suffered in one way or another.Just be glad it is over now its time for you to take care of your self...if he comes back tell him to fuck off and go brainfuck someone else. I dont know why but i feel so angry just reading what you wrote that if i ever met him i would deck him myself. Take care now sweetie and God bless.xx
Jan 9 - 5PM
Dee30
Dee30's picture

sorry for ur experience..wool lifted

the guy sounds nuts, which i'm sure he is.. My experience: Narc #1 exhusband: cheated on me multiple times, last one to an underage girl, i had an affar after 7 years of marriage, he tried to kill me, continuosly stalked me, "examinded" my parts to see if he could see 'sperm' from other men there, questioned me about why i would take a shower, sex addiction, forced sex while i was sleeping Narc #2 exbf: exhibitonist, liked risky sex, openly flirtatious with other woman, made me so insecure to the point that I was the one calling him continuosly, silent treatments, attention seeking behaviours...had to be the centre of attention, grandiose talk, flaunted me like some object, emotionally unavailable, when i wouldnt answer my phone he would freak out and rage, but like i said i got to the point where i was so insecure because he would constantly threaten to leave me., verbal abuse, fondling me in public, sexual degrogratory remarks about females, risk taking behaviours, drove fast and wud do it sometimes to scare me, would cry and have temper tentrums, only available to me when HE wanted, when he would finally come see me, he would actually say "Do you want me to come?" and i wud say "do u want to come?" which he wud force out of me saying that I WANTED HIM TO COME..like he was doing me the favour. when we "broke up" (refused closure) he saw me on my birthday claiming that HE was the gift to me. bascically ALL ABOUT HIM.. Welcome to the world of Narcissists
Jan 9 - 5PM
HardToBelieve
HardToBelieve's picture

Wow

Was he twin brother of my evil narc? Sounds too familiar. WHAT YOU DESCRIBED IS JUST WHAT I WENT THROUGH!!!!! THANK GOD WE RAN AND NEVER LOOKED BACK!!! ---------------------QUOTE------------------------- *Would always ask if his d*ck was the best, his body etc. Would tell me I could never do better and that even if I left and married someone else I would always want to f*ck him. *Every time we went out he needed to be centre of attention. He used to shout, scream, cause fights, buy all the drinks for everyone to show his wealth (which he didn't have). Every time he got home he would punch the walls (luckily never me) *He would call me 30 times a day. Even more if I did not answer. If I didn't answer he would always say 'If you don't answer princess I will be so worried I will have to come to the flat' Of course it was control. *He would always treat me to food and dinners and then push me to eat his. He always tried to force me to eat. Perhaps he wanted me to put on weight? *He read my diaries *He continually checked my phone. Broke into emails *He would change personalities to suit the person he was with. It was truly bizarre watching him change his mannerisms, his voice, everything! *He pretended to be multiple people and sometimes he would text me from different sim cards pretending to be other men to see if I would 'admit' to being unfaithful! Recently as I had cut contact he text-ed me pretending to be a recruiter offering me a job under a totally different name. -------------------END QUOTE-----------------------------
Jan 9 - 3PM
spinning
spinning's picture

wool lifted, keep this list handy

because it is good to see the TRUTH and the FACTS in black and white when our emotions start to head toward "magical thinking." I am so glad you are done with this manipulator. Wow, what a piece of work! He is as scary as the Freak Boy I was involved with. wool lifted, you will continue to grow stronger every day you work the steps. Your commitment to moving on will serve you well. I am at 14 months NC and am happier and more alive than I've been in a decade, and especially in the six years of hell I endured with the disordered one. Turns out I now view the D & D as the best thing he ever did for me! Welcome to this outstanding place of healing, support and hope. I am so sorry you had to land here, but so grateful that you are on The Path Forward now. Most sincerely, (not) spinning. BECAUSE I KNOW TO MUCH TO EVER SPIN AGAIN FOR ANY MAN, FOR ANYONE!

spinning

Jan 9 - 9AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

This man is a sociopath..

This man is a sociopath.. Read " Sociopath Next Door" Martha Stout Lisa's books are great and so are Goldies one on Ones .. Run..... Welcome Hunter