why would Narc re-friend a mutual friend of ours on FB?

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#1 Mar 17 - 2PM
Anonymous (not verified)
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why would Narc re-friend a mutual friend of ours on FB?

First I want to say hello to everyone- have missed you all!!

I think some may remember I posted- when Facebook changed their profile settings that the Narc was unfriending 'friends' we had in common.

Then a few months later he blocked me....and I could careless other than I then couldnt see where he was lurking, so I blocked all his known email accounts.

Well, today thru an alternate account I have on there(that i created to interact with people with my similar health issues, without using my real name) I see that Narc has now 're-friended' this mutual friend.(she also has the same health issue..and lives 10 min from me)

there is no logic with dealing with the personality disordered... but I am now a bit concerned that if he changes the email address linked to his FB account he could see my posts. Although I do have everything set as friends only. this is a bit too close for comfort. why even re-friend her ...to add one more friend to his list? Her and I dont really talk...I dont trust her really after the whole Narc thing... but I do enjoy some of her posts- so dont want to delete her

I have been doing really well regarding Narc... most days dont even think of him... it is really amazing , but one day I woke up and it was like he never existed... NC really is the only way that I got to this point..and posting almost daily on this board. I have focused on ME...things that make me happy..and refocused on my health..and doing everything I can to improve.

but last few days I have been getting a vibe that somehow Narc may try to get in contact... and this FB thing has me a tad concerned. sigh. I have reached the point where I see Narc's life as a sad existence and I am so glad that I can be alone in my own skin. and I am not a part of his deception or one of his slaves....

..when I look to the future I see myself happy... with someone who loves me...no longer with Narc.

I am still healing, but at a much better place...and it feels great :-)

Mar 18 - 12AM
destiny (not verified)
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Barbara- but wouldnt

Barbara- but wouldnt unfriending her ..be the reaction he is looking for? so, difficult to determine whether to do nothing...and ignore this recent attempt... sigh. if he didnt have his profile guarded like fort knox ...i could find it and block him directly... instead of just having all his email addys blocked. their games really never end... and there are no coincidences with Narcs. “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
Mar 18 - 7AM (Reply to #5)
Barbara (not verified)
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destiny

so what? unfriend her... that way he can't use her to further manipulate you. WHO GIVES A CRAP WHAT HE THINKS... UnFRIEND HER. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Mar 23 - 2AM (Reply to #9)
rache
rache's picture

UN-FRIEND HER!

I unfriended (two) now ex-friends,whom,he contacted for phone sex and manipulation to get to me.I know one of them went along with the phone sex.
Mar 18 - 7PM (Reply to #6)
destiny (not verified)
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sigh, I hate Narcs!!! I

sigh, I hate Narcs!!! I see your point though if I unfriend her ..she is the one known friend we always had in common. there could be others now though that i am not aware of....but since she was the known and it is clear this was some sort of Narc chess move... sick of it. heck maybe she will even wonder why I soon unfriended her..after she became friends with the Narc again... ugh, just when I thought his games with me were done. thanks barbara. “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
Mar 18 - 9PM (Reply to #8)
quietude (not verified)
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destiny

I wanted to add this over-used, but oh-so-valuable cliche: Be True to Yourself! That's really the key. Maybe it's because I'm older, but my tolerance for people trying to feed me BS or purposely hurt me has gone way, way down. What should you do that feels right to you? Things that you know are healthy choices for you? Don't worry about what people think who do not have your best interests at heart. In the big picture, it doesn't matter...it just doesn't matter.
Mar 18 - 8PM (Reply to #7)
Barbara (not verified)
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destiny

they are NEVER done... NEVER ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Mar 17 - 3PM
quietude (not verified)
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ah facebook...

Hi destiny, it is good to 'see' you again!! I'm so glad enforcing NC as much as possible. If something continues to be too triggering for you, you might want to consider blocking it. Whether or not you enjoy this girl's posts or not, she's still connecting herself to your ex. Personally, I feel that's enough reason to block. If he's trying to contact you...well, there's not much you can do other than control what YOU do, and keep those boundaries up. I'm glad you're feeling better!! :)
Mar 17 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
destiny (not verified)
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Thanks quietutde...glad to

Thanks quietutde...glad to 'see' you too. How have you been? I will have to read thru some posts and get caught up. I will give it some thought about unfriending her... I got to thinking 'what is she thinking...accepting a friend request from him after he deleted her... and also I dont trust FB and who knows if he can now see my news feed thru her. and then the other part of me thinks...well why should I have to delete her..because of him. He took enough away from me. For me even though he is blocked I would never 'friend' someone I knew he was friends with. what a jerk!! “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
Mar 17 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
Barbara (not verified)
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just to hurt and confuse you

he's doing it to get a reaction unfriend her... cut off the drama... ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims