Why Dont They Break Up With Us?

They all do this. I left mine. The day before I was moving out, he begged me not to leave, wanted to reconcile & "make love" he said--forget this nightmare. Begged me not to divorce him & to date him in a trial separation. I agreed to that. Well, he left & went on a DATE with another woman -- in fact, he came over to beg me on his way to the date. What would he have done with the woman waiting on a date if I had agreed to reconile & made love that moment? As for seeing each other during this trial separation, he would send a rare e-mail to that effect. There was a 10 day period when the e-mails were coming several a day for 10 days. Then a demand for a divorce & silence. Two months later, several e-mails & some tearful calls about HIS LOVE for me. One month later again, e-mails & tearful calls. Then six months later again, e-mails & tearful calls. Thereafter, we were divorced one month later. Well, one month after our divorce, I was contacted by the woman who was waiting that day for him on her date. From that day forward they were an instant couple, & she made him happier than any woman ever had in his life (he said that to me & we too were an instant couple). The very last time I heard from him, apparently, she had broken up with him irrevocably 32 hours earlier. Everytime he contacted me to reconcile actually coincided with arguments they had had & she was leaving him. There were TWO exceptions. The first 10 day stint -- that was when he learned that the he could not refinance the house & that he would lose it because it would have to be sold. This was one month after I left him. He was trying to get her to buy the house with him & move in after one month of dating (but SHE never knew he could not get a loan). (His parents gave him the money to save the house for him. That he never told me, made a big theater to me about the debt I had stradddled him with in my cruel abandonment of him.) Another time he sought reconiliation when she had just moved in with him (into the house I still co-owned) four months after they had started dating-- he contacted me when he learned that (unlike me) she would NOT be paying for capital impovements nor investing in fixtures for a house she did not own. In addition, SHE did not cook, clean, or do laundry! &, then, suddenly he LOVED me & begged me not to divorce him -- if I had agreed to reconcile, what would he have done with the woman living in the house? Do you think this man ever told me he was dating another woman? NO. In fact, when he finally let me move out (kept my stuff hostage until he had a new woman installed), she was living there. I saw all her things in the closets which had once been mine. He took all my things out of the everywhere to make space for her. But even then, he did not tell me a woman lived there. She even opened the door (he could not be there one day) & said she was a friend helping him out & told me which rooms I could enter & which not because none of my stuff was there! And, I had hired a man to come with me as a body guard so as to never leave me alone with the N while I moved out. I learned that N was weeping to another friend that I had a boyfriend & that I had brought him to the house -- and N wept about his love for me. That friend to whom he wept had no idea that he had another woman living in the house at that same moment! N is jealous that I might have a boyfriend when HE is living with the love of his love whom he wants to marry (so he tells her). Trust me. If your guy is an N or even a psychopath (like mine) -- you have no idea the layer-upon-layer of deceit they operate. Mine is a highly educated, very successful man. Nobody could believe that almost everything he says on a "personal" level is a manufactured mythology designed to extract that which he wants. With intimate partners, he's interested in money, sex, & domestic services (household & secretarial). But at work, and in his professional life, everybody thinks he is just so affable, smart, and kind. Sorry to write so much. Sometimes it's only in the details that one can understand how manipulative these guys are. What lenghts they will go to keep you on the back burner so as to come back & extract more from you. And, all this in the name of love. Believe me, when a man loves a woman -- he does everything he can to make her happy. When we love, the other comes first. If he loves, how can he possibly NOT have time to be with the object of his love? Makes no sense.