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Why does it take so long to get over the psychopath?

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#1 Sep 3 - 2PM
Nemesis
Nemesis's picture

Why does it take so long to get over the psychopath?

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to tell you about this readio programme that I listened to which has a Dr explaining why it's harder to get over a relationship with a psychopath than it is a normal relationship.

If you don't want to listen to the whole thing, just listen from about 27 minutes in where she's talking about experiments done that prove there is a chemical reaction in our brains that stops us from reacting adversely to the pain that we are being subjected to.

http://aftermath-surviving-psychopathy.org/radio/?p=224

Sep 3 - 7PM
WakingUP (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Wow! That was helpful...

I had recently been wondering about some sort of chemical reaction in the brain having to do with how hard its been to just "let it all go." I had been listening to a totally unrelated podcast and someone was talking about their former drug addiction, and how with chemical addictions, those chemicals will "light up" certain pleasure centers in the brain in addictive personalities. I wondered if that might be happening in Narc relationships since even though they appear to be "real" relationships to the victim, what really happening is a subtle brainwashing - and its not like a "normal" relationship and if that unhealthy "bond" is registering in a different part of the brain. This podcast (Nemesis' link) talks about oxytocin being a possible reason for the way victims bond to their narcs even though the bond is harmful. It was also helpful to hear that its normal to want to get back together with the Narc... the Cog/Dis is a big part of that. She also emphasized that empathic, loving people are HUGE targets of Narcs, and that the more empathic and loving you are, the more likely you'll have trouble disengaging. Another good point was that even though you're still having the wavering feelings, that the healthiest thing to do is to make the COGNITIVE decision to get this person out of your life, in spite of those feelings. Thanks for posting it.