Why Do We Remain In Denial for So Long?

by Kathy Krajco

It's easy to take an honest look at someone you have something against. And though i have no time for blaming the victim, those of us who have been victimized by narcissists must take an honest look at ourselves.

Why is it so hard to face facts? Why do we remain in denial so long, and thus play the fool?

People on the outside are flabbergasted by the abuse the victim takes. But it is really very easy to understand.

To face facts, one fact you must face is that you mean nothing to the narcissist. Zip, zero, zilch, nada. You are nothing but a punching bag. A thing, an object he (ab)uses to make himself feel good.

If he breaks you, that's nothing because you are just an object to a narcissist or psychopath.

That's humiliating. Who wants to admit that they are worth nothing to someone so precious to them? It's a spear right through the heart.

And stupid conventional thinking views value backwards.

True, if a thing is a commodity for exchange, it's of no more value than what someone will pay for it. Like a used car: if you can't get anyone to pay more than $1,000 for it, that's all it's worth, no matter how new it is.

But human beings are not commodities for exchange. They have INHERENT value.

This notion that the narcissist DEVALUES you is ludicrous. Let's try thinking straight and saying that he just fails to appreciate your value.

Which makes him a dunce. So, who is devalued by his failure? You or him?

Does that make it easier to face facts?

Narcissists know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/07/true-value-and-narcissist.html