Why do narcissists marry so quickly during the luring phase?

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Aug 4 - 6PM (Reply to #5)
Susan32
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Marriage makes you ORDINARY

For an N/P, marriage makes them ORDINARY, and they don't like being ORDINARY! The ex-Psych prof threw a fit when I brought up his parents&his sister, that he needed love&care... like EVERYBODY ELSE. Now that my brother in-law and the ex-P's father have the same first name... I'm feeling MORE cocky. I'll be as humble as Donald Trump in the boardroom. For an N/P, marriage&childbearing makes the partner their ultimate possession. Leo Tolstoy threatened to kill Sofia when she was in pain after giving birth to their first child... he packed up his bags, threatening to go to America when she was in labor with their 13th child. If the ex-P had had sex with me, if I had borne his children, married him, he would've seen me as an OBJECT in every sense of the word. I'm happy the ex-P didn't get as serious with me as he did his girlfriend (he was rumored to be gay, she was rumored to be lesbian, so it could've been all about appearances) I didn't move in with him. I didn't change jobs to be with him. She could've been a Narc, for all I know (sometimes Narcs end up marrying each other) In some bizarre way, I'm probably on the ex-P's pedestal because he didn't have to deal with me in a mundane way, dealing with bills, raising children, grocery shopping. *adjusts tiara*
Aug 4 - 6PM
Susan32
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It's all about image

And what's more respectable than getting married, settling down&having kids? That looks a lot more respectable than being the confirmed bachelor player at the local bars? The ex-Psych prof wanted to rush me into marriage when he barely knew me... and I barely knew him. I take marriage SERIOUSLY. Pre-Cana can take 6 months. So I put him off... indefinitely. I could sense his underlying fear of commitment. He'd talk about how he'd distance himself from me if I bore his children&married him. After the final D&D, he got his girlfriend pregnant... and 9 months later, she gave birth to twins. About a month after the twins' birth, he married her. He got her pregnant around the time I pulled my vanishing act. He was afraid that unless he impregnated a woman, she'd abandon him... he'd say that if he married me, he'd get me pregnant ASAP. The ex-P's idol, Leo Tolstoy, married Sofia Behrs after only a weeklong courtship. The ex-P compared himself&I to Leo&Sofia... since at the time he was 32 and I was 18. Leo was 34 when he married the 18 year old Sofia. Leo's courtship consisted of triangulation with her sisters, showing her his sexually explicit diaries. Some Ns/Ps are SMART enough to not rush into marriage. When gay marriage was legal here in California, my openly gay former Narc boss did NOT wed his older boyfriend. He knew such a commitment wasn't for him. Well, unlike the ex-P,he was HONEST about being sexually attracted to men&being commitment-shy. My former Narc boss deserves CREDIT for that! He has more integrity, for a Narc.