Why can't I let go?
Why can't I let go?
I was dating a woman very seriously for 7 months and out of the blue she disappeared without an explanation or a trace. That was 5 months ago.
The day before she disappeared we'd gone out an had a great time. She was telling me that I was one-in-a-million and and that she loved me. This was someone who fell in love with me first and told me she wanted to spend the next 50 birthdays together. This was the person on every level that I'd been waiting to meet.
The whole situation really knocked me down. For the first time in my life I sought out a therapist to get some help. I couldn't understand why someone, who loved me, would just walk away and not say why.
Since September, I would reach out by email or text once a month to ask how she was doing. She'd reply with short un-engaging answers. I even gave her an opportunity to explain what happened by email, but she didn't respond to it.
On NYE I sent a text saying I wish I could kiss her at midnight. She replied with a photo and said "come to NY!" We had a brief surface text conversation and I concluded by asking if she ever thought about me. She said, "yes, but the way you ask is sounds so sad and heavy." That made no sense to me. We'd always had nothing but fun together, so the response was bizarre to me.
At that point, I decided I needed to go NC. I was ruining my own self-dignity. I've had no contact with her, but today would have been the anniversary of the day we met, so she's been on my mind a lot in the past few days.
I've moved on and am dating several woman that I'm getting to know, but I still care about the ex a great deal.
Why can't I shake someone who, was wonderful, but then turned on a dime and turned me off like a light switch?
I'm a very caring person and I try to see the good in people maybe that's my problem.
By all accounts I should loathe her. She really hurt me and it still can't get my head around what happened or if she really ever meant the things she told me.