Why Can't I Get Excited About My New Life?
Why Can't I Get Excited About My New Life?
I'm back in the same spot again - freaking out and panicking about me/my life/my future. I'm clearly not "getting" something so I keep having to go back around the mountain. It's so damn frustrating.
Last week at the contempt hearing the judge ordered stbxN to give the rest of my stuff back but didn't find him in contempt. StbxN stormed out and yelled at his attorney all the way down the courthouse hallway. What I heard in his voice, though, scared me. He sounded panicked.
On Friday I got the great news that were approved for a less expensive place that is nicer, bigger and in a better location. I really felt a sense of excitement and blessing in my life at that news.
The weekend however was really awful and I cried off and on for most of it as I feared stbxN taking his anger at losing in court out on our daughter.
On Monday I received a nasty email from him in which he stated, "I'm done dealing with you". This was in reference to further medical stuff for our daughter. I sent it to my attorney.
I woke up Wednesday morning having a horrible panic attack. I had been dreaming that stbxN admitted to killing two people and then pulled a hammer out from behind his back and chased me and hit me in the head with it. It really freaked me out and is still bothering me today.
I am well aware that contact=pain but I have a small child with him and lots of recent contact due to her surgery and our court dates. But I think there is more to my setback than just that (contact). It has been suggested to me that the hammer to the head in my dream means that I need to wake up to something or there is something I'm not acknowledging about him/me.
Today I just feel like crap. I can't concentrate, I ache all over and I feel like I'm having one long drawn-out panic attack. Thanks for listening - I just needed to get this out of my head and off my chest.
Wow, this post validates me a
Crying Tonight
Oh GG...
Thanks Winter
Survival mode
I hadn't thought of that
GG - You are doing great!!
Coffeeaddict,
I agree with what the others
Thanks, really
Georgiagirl friend, go easy on yourself!
spinning
Thank you, Spinning
Uh-oh
LOL