Who are N's Attracted to?

The ex-Narc boss liked having employees who were at his mercy. He wanted people who were vulnerable and would easily give in. The first 2 weeks I worked for him, he made a BIG DEAL about how he could fire me anytime, and he'd rage over minor things. Case in point- Put a jar of honey on the counter without wiping its bottom, and he throws an obscenity-filled tantrum. The ex-Psych professor got his hooks in during a fragile time of my life... my grandfather had died. It was my strength and confidence that he sought to conquer. Ns/Ps can be predators on people with high self-esteem, just for the sake of sucking it dry. My maternal grandparents were both Narcs. Sometimes NPD men end up with BPD women. It's like disorder attracting disorder.

I have to constantly remind myself that under the pretty "wrapping" of Mr. N, there is a man without empathy. It sometimes feels like a cruel joke, all these highly intelligent, very attractive men and women who have absolutely no ability to be in a genuine relationship. It is enough to give me pause whenever I see any man that I am attracted to.

Narcs like supply. Period. They like people who they feel are as good as them (there's no one better, of course), they like people who they feel are inferior to them, they like attention whereever they can get it. If a narc is hanging with someone who is at their level or above (in their eyes) they are doing it to look better to the general public. They want everyone to say, "Oh look, narc is friends with so-and-so. He must be as ___________ as they are." They also use these people as connections to others who they also want to be accepted by. And of course narcs like hanging with people they feel superior to so they can well, feel superior. They can lay down the law with this admirer because the person idolizes the narc. The narc can do no wrong. Now in an "intimate relationship" they want someone who will give in to them, put up with their crap, and make the narc the priority without asking to be a priority to the narc. Of course they like someone who is the "whole package". Someone who is attractive, smart, independent, and popular. But for it to work, this person has to have some vulnerability with boundaries, self esteem, etc. This person is a challenge, and if they get in it's a huge victory for them. They look good to society because they snagged such a good person. Then of course there's the easy target. This is someone who is unattractive, socially awkward, an addict, etc. This is just an easy target for the narc who can get them to do anything for them, no matter how repulsive or illegal it is. This person is so starved for attention they will go to any length to keep the narc in their lives. For the narc, this person is the go-to when they want it easy because they are feeling lazy and don't want to put forth any effort. This is my take on narc supply. Anyone can be a victim of a narc. They like anyone who gives them the time of day. As soon as someone seems like they are not properly idolizing the narc, they are D&D.

hi, I remember reading the article by Keith Campbell in the newspaper where i live and his study of Narcs. I feel that narcs go after people with low self esteems and poor boundaries and who may be in a emotionally fragile time of their life. He once said to me, here we are 2 losers and I pipped up, I am not a loser, so that tells you what he thought of himself,next they like kind, caring, gullible people and I am very outgoing and friendly, qualities he is lacking but admires i could tell, people said I should have been a diplomat.they would never go after people with a healthy self esteem or who have good boundaries because these people would NEVER pout up with their horrible treatment without telling them to F**k off first!!My thought is to focus less on yourself and more on the world that is why I am a big fan of volunteering in whatever area you are interested, it is a way to become more outer directed in the world and less inner directed, if you get my meaning.Also looks all pass with time and I know we have to have a physical attraction to a person, but remember after we all age it is what is INSIDE the person that will come through for YOU my thoughts.............. Your confused sense of ugly and beauty may have to do with self esteem issues that perhaps a therapist could help you with, a good one is a lifesaver, i know.............