When you start creeping at his life, something creepy happens inside!

I haven't been on this site for awhile. I learned thanks to the wisdom of many of you that the only way to heal is to go N/C. I shut down my Facebook page 9 months ago. I blocked his email address and number from my phone (not that he would contact me given the fact he's still with the 17years younger, gorgeous minister). I hadn't driven by his house or contacted his kids in a year. As a result I'd been healing. The pain had subsided and life was good.

For some reason over Christmas I couldn't stop thinking of him. I would wake up having dreams about him. I ended up sending an email to his daughter just to let her know I was thinking of her. I really do miss his family a lot. She didn't respond which really hurt. I thought we were close. Lots of friends are on Pinterest so I decided to go for it. I started adding many boards and having fun until the day I decided to look at his daughters page. She was following the gorgeous young minister and so was everyone else in his family. I looked at her page and found wedding ideas, date ideas and posts on keeping your abs firm. Since then I've checked it a few other times and feel physically ill. It's as though I opened a box and all the work I've done came rushing out. Seeing something as simple as her Pinterest page sent me reeling. How can she not see him for what he is? From the outside it looks as though she could have anyone, why him? Maybe I was wrong and he really is wonderful. Oh the pain breaking N/C of any sort does. Guess I'm not as far along as I thought I was.