When you ''accidentally'' find an old email, message, voicemail--from when things were good :=(
When you ''accidentally'' find an old email, message, voicemail--from when things were good :=(
I'm totally NC. Committed to it.
But, last night -- I was on this site. I was logging off, and decided to check my private messages from the site we both belong to. I thought I had cleaned out my 'sent' items. So, I looked at what was possibly left. OMG. I found two messages from LAST SUMMER when he first pursued me. This was right after we met when he met with mutual friends of ours, when he was in FL. We joined that site shortly thereafter together, when we realized we had fitness/exercise in common. (My other friend joined too)
I read the message over and over. I forgot we started talking all the way back then. I mean, I didn't forget. I didn't know we were talking so lovey dovey back then, though. And to see how he wrote. It was so telling. It was like he was already plotting, back then. (which he would always say he chased me for nearly a year before I said yes)
In this particular message, we were talking about his failed marriages. He said how he wished he could find forever love. How he thought he had with the 4th wife. How he was tired of learning 'life lessons' and just wanted real love. I replied...''I believe real love will tap us on the shoulder when we least expect it.'' His reply? ''When I see you next, I'll make sure to tap you on the shoulder.'' Ugh. My heart sank reading that. In a few ways. First...I missed him. Ugh!!! :=( Reading that, I so missed that charming man. Second...I caught myself, and stopped missing him, and realized that no one says this right off the bat. Only psychopaths do. To lure you in. There's no such thing as courting to a psychopath...it's all about the hunt. Hunt and courting are not the same things. <<< I'm sitting in my bed thinking like this last night. lol GET A LIFE DEE! I know. I know. ;)
I read that message over and over and over before finally deleting it. In that same back and forth note (like you know how the private message is ongoing...so there were many 'hidden' messages in the original message) I said...''you are a charmer.'' His reply? ''Women who know me think I'm the sweetest man they've ever met. But, I can also be a horrible prick.'' And he put a smiley face with a big toothy grin (emoticon) at the end of that.
UGH.
I wish I hadn't seen that.
Then, this morning. I'm home from work today, and turned my phone on when I woke up. There were three voicemails. And one was from him. But, it sounded like the one from last weekend. I checked the date/time...and it was from last Sunday, when all the breakup stuff was going on. I was like...why the hell didn't this phone delete that? I thought I deleted it! Saved calls must pop back up in the line up of new calls, and I had new vm msgs. I deleted it.
That message was very sobering. His voice was mean...he was breathing heavy. I was like...yep, I made the right choice. hahaha!
So, mixed feelings running into these two things by 'accident.'
Do you have any similiar stories? What feelings does it dredge up for you, when you accidentally run across something of a reminder of them? Like notes...messages...emails?
thanks
neverlookback
DOING THE WORK
Neverlookback
I purposely
ifinallygotit!
emails and voicemails
to vs too
texts
Diedre
Hi Deidre I have kept the
I honestly didn't know I
For Deidre - rings...
My exN and I were long