When a Psychopath says "We can still be friends"

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#1 Feb 26 - 9AM

Movingforwardnow

When a Psychopath says "We can still be friends"

Translation: "I am using a screwdriver right now, but you are the best hammer I ever had, so stay on the shelf where I can get to you if I need you for something the screwdriver cannot do"

-Thomas Sheridan, Author of PUZZLING PEOPLE - the labyrinth of the psychopath

#2 Feb 28 - 7AM

midnight7

When a Psychopath says "We

When a Psychopath says "We can still be friends" - we respond with a simple no thank you and run in the opposite direction!

#3 Feb 27 - 11PM

tootsgee

I think this is brill! Mine

I think this is brill! Mine was desperate for us not to fall out.... He wanted me to think he was a nice guy and for some reason he thought we would carry on hanging out together... Im so pleased I told him it would never happen as he would have probably been getting me on and off that shelf for ages! I also think he used our new relationship to continue to abuse his ex wife and make me insecure about her ... She was probably thinking poor woman about me just as I do now about her... sadly for her she still has to have contact whereas I just ignore his sorry ass!

#4 Feb 28 - 6AM (Reply to #17)

Snowflake

I was the one who wanted to stay friends

I have problems stemming from bullying I think and I get worried if I think people might not like me, falling out really affects me. I never wanted to lose him, it really hurt lots of times. He would say I dont need any more friends..or I dont need a fucking penfriend K. I had to do the 'undoable' and get rid of him in the end to save myself but it hurts every day that I had to make that decision.

#5 Feb 28 - 12PM (Reply to #18)

peachesn

Snowflake, I did the exact

Snowflake, I did the exact same thing, I wanted to be friends afterwards! This has prompted me to do some serious soul-searching as to why I wanted to be 'friends' w/ someone like that after he had hurt me. Sometime you just have to go through these things & learn from them. I know it hurts but its much better to be out in the long run. Lots of love xx

#6 Feb 26 - 2PM

Journey

Upon breaking up with me my

Upon breaking up with me my exN said he'd always be my friend and will always love me, but that he was unable to give me what I needed and that I deserve to find someone who could. Then he immediately left town and took up with the first (of many since) OW. I didn't know about her and continued our 'friendship', albeit distant as it was. It was my questioning online one year later why a 'friend' who said he cared about me would continue to keep hurting me with seemingly innocent, covert manipulation and control, that was what lead me to this forum. I guess he only lied HALF the time. Journey on...

Journey on...

#7 Feb 26 - 12PM

Tinker23

Awesome Anology! It's kind of

Awesome Anology! It's kind of hard to be friends with someone who's main goal is to hurt and manipulate you and will do it ANY way possible! My narc told me with the final D&D good people are hard to find so I want us to still be friends ha He also offered to sneak me into his place to hang out but if the OW found out shit would go down. Seriously?!?

#8 Feb 26 - 11AM

Ladydb123

I remember

Yes, I remember so well that when ever I got fed up with his bs and suggessted that I was moving on, he would plead with me to stop thinking like that(?) "We will be friends until death do us part." WTF why should I be friends with someone to treats me like a second class person. He can go back to all his other shelf women.....

#9 Feb 26 - 10AM

janemarie

Mine said...."I just want to

Mine said...."I just want to be part of your life, in any capacity!" "we can still love each other as friends!" "you are my whole world, I dont want to live without you!" "there will never be another Jane!" GAG ME!!!!! 4 days he was screwing someone else!!!!!!! Head games!!!Jerkoffs!!!! GOD I hate him!!!!!

#10 Feb 26 - 5PM (Reply to #12)

IncognitoBurrito

You said

You said: Mine said...."I just want to be part of your life, in any capacity!" Yep! Same here. How original, hm?

#11 Feb 26 - 10AM

Maggster

Wow-

Mine would say that after any threat of me leaving...I couldn't even grasp the idea of him thinking a friendship was possible. I ordered the book last night and can't wait to read it!

#12 Feb 26 - 10AM

peachesn

Brilliant analogy! I read an

Brilliant analogy! I read an article on sharischreiber.com that said when a borderline says let's be friends it means that they'll use their new relationship to put you down and glorify their new partner, use you for sex/attention on the side and use you to make their new partner feel insecure. My prick of an ex managed to do all those things! Think I need to get my hands on that book! Blessings xx

#13 Feb 26 - 12PM (Reply to #8)

ACgirl

OMG!! Another Ah-Ha moment!!

Peachesn, when I read what you wrote it reminded me of what my ex-n did and it was yet another in a series of reminders what a big jerk N-Man I was involved with. Two days before New Years Eve he contacted me. We were at that point trying to "get-back" together. He was sending me "xoxo" texts, etc. I drove out to the airport to meet him when he just flew in from a business trip. I thought he was inviting me to a New Year Eve thing. When I got there, after having a drink together he told me that he has been involved with an OW and that he can't see two women at the same time, so he had to stop seeing me. WTF!! And the whole time he was talking to me the OW was blowing up his phone calling him every 5 minutes. She was screaming at him...."Are you sleeping with her??" WTF!! I had been with the jerk off for 6 years, he had "been" with her for about a year, on and off because he was also with me and I didn't know about her. Typical BS. So, in my mind, SHE was the OW. I told the jerk-off to not contact me again, and of course, he did the week later. I stayed NC for a while, then of course, fell back in the trap. This was two years ago and I found this site after that. But this is the kind of bull crap they do. He used me to get the new OW all worked up and insecure. Wow, another ah-ha moment for me. It never stops. Hopefully soon, I will be able to laugh a little more at remembering!!

#14 Feb 26 - 1PM (Reply to #9)

peachesn

ACgirl, they're not as

ACgirl, they're not as orginial as they think. They pull the same stunts, it seems! LOL xx

#15 Feb 26 - 10AM

Redhead

Yep

I remember that aha moment when I read his book. At first, I was so messed up & manipulated I thought ok. Thank goodness my anger took over & then thought "Oh hell no."

#16 Feb 26 - 10AM (Reply to #5)

Redhead

I mean

why in the hell would I be friends with a man who used me, lied to me, cheated on me, exploited me, verbally & emotionally abused me, then abandoned me? Remain friends with a man who stood before God, our family & friends promising to love, honor & cherish me 'til death do us part? Who told me that he would love me & care for me forever? Only to tell me in the end that he's changed & doesn't love me anymore. what a sorry fucker.

#17 Feb 28 - 12AM (Reply to #6)

shock and awe.some (not verified)

Mine said the same thing to

Mine said the same thing to me. We were living 2gether & starting a new life. After 2 years he says he's dating online. He swore he would always love me & never cheat on me. When I reminded him he said "I think I might have loved you but "things" have changed." He could not wait 6 weeks for me to join him in our new home. The home that I picked out. What a baby. Wha...wha...wha...

#18 Feb 26 - 9AM

Sparrow

Thomas rocks! Dead on

Thomas rocks! Dead on analogy!

#19 Feb 26 - 9AM

Hunter

Love that book.

#20 Feb 28 - 10AM (Reply to #2)

Ophelia

Hunter, I just have to say

Hunter, I just have to say that I love your Fantasy Island profile picture. It makes me laugh every time I see it. Humour can be so healing.

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