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when friends don't even WANT to understand

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#1 Sep 23 - 5PM
MissM
MissM's picture

when friends don't even WANT to understand

ok, so today has been a bad day for me. During a 3 hour drive to the airport for a holiday i wish i'd never gone on, I managed to persuade myself my ex is not a narc or a psycho. That maybe I caused this, getting into something with a man who didn't want any ties, who was still hurting from a broken relationship, and who didn't appreciate my snooping in his phone.

I am staying with a friend i haven't seen in ages but she knows all about my ex (the cop), what happened, how much it hurt me.

Guess what. All she's talked about so far is her new affair with a married cop (!) whose wife she knows and works with???!! I feel like a total loser. She asked ONCE how i was doing and kind of dismissed and laughed off whatever i had to say. I just want to go home. I was so looking fwd to this break, now i'm sickened and i've only been here 8 hours.

I've asked what the hell she's messing round with this guy for. And she thinks its amusing but feels incredibly sorry for herself that she's single and lonely.

When i try tell her its no good she tells me i'm playing shrink just because i've read up on my ex's behaviour.

To be honest, i'm fucking livid at how insensitive she is being. And if i hear one more story of her and her 38 yr old divorced buddy chic hanging out drinking with married cops till 5am i think i'll hop an early flight home.

I hate myself for feeling like this towards my friend. But it's just crap. I feel small and discarded enough already without having to listen to her being the other woman and her finding my pain over my ex somehow lightly amusing.

Sep 23 - 7PM
NanC (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Get your self on the next

Get your self on the next flight! Your friend obviously doesn't have respect for other women or herself! You don't need to be around those type of people. She falls into the same catagory as your ex, LOW LIVES! They don't care who they hurt or use along the way. You put up with enough crap for a life time! You sure as hell don't need to put up with it from him, her, or anybody else! Get freakin' postal (ok, not literally!) but get pissed and say, "Its all about me now!". Sounds like your friend you hadn't seen in ages should have been left there in the past! Lol!
Sep 23 - 6PM
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

MissM

Hon, it's okay to feel repelled by this person. She is obviously toxic, and your fine-tuned senses are telling you, this is BS! So a pat on the back for you, and a swift kick to the curb for this "friend".
Sep 23 - 5PM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

It sounds like you are over

It sounds like you are over narcissists. How can any woman in her right mind get into an affair with a guy whose wife she knows unless she is a narcissist. Life has rules and the law of attraction is really clear here. You go to her house and she talks about something that is bound to hurt and harm you. then she twists it so you feel badly that you are feeling hurt and harmed. She mentions she is lonely but think of it this way she made you mad, everyone who knows she is doing this affair no longer respects her, she is making her alone and lonely problem worse, and when you try to tell her what you learned she makes fun of you. I think you now have boundries with people and she is someone that isn't a real friend to anyone including herself. She might be calling you in the future with a cry for help and don't give her one on one advice just send her to the website and let her learn for herself. She is going down a bad road and you tried to give her some re-direction but she doesn't want it now. I think you should be around people who are on a better road, who don't cause negative feelings in you, and who are fun. You obviously didn't want to hear about her cheating and criticisim so find people who don't do that and are more like you.
Sep 23 - 6PM (Reply to #2)
dolce (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

ditto

Ditto! I posted about this topic only 2 days ago. Ditch that "friend". You are getting healthy. Thats why your angry. Your asking yourself what the hell you're doing there, with this person, on VACATION! Can you split early and go somewhere nice and peaceful, so you dont ruin your vacation with this disturbed person? ~Free to Be~
Sep 23 - 6PM (Reply to #3)
neveragain
neveragain's picture

Dolce is RIGHT: "Ditch that 'friend'"!

I think the more you realize what Narcissistic Behavior looks like, the less tolerant you become of being around it. Your "friend" is a toxic, unhealthy, disturbed and dangerous person. How DARE she judge anything about YOU??? I find her behavior disgusting and horrible. You have every right (and I am encouraging you to do so) to get as far away from her as you can!! It's almost like someone turned the light on and our eyes are wide open. NOW we can see what is happening. The techniques they use are starting to lose their effectiveness. We have discernment now. We know what to look out for. The more we see it, the more disgusting it is because we can now know exactly what it is: Insidious and Dangerous. Run away! Far away!! neveragain