whatever2009's story

Confused & Manipulated

I belive I am dating a narcissist, I am completely addicted and afraid to walk away. Im afraid about the separation from him, what if I never find anyone else, he does do some nice things for me. I believe he manipulates me threw things I never had and he knows it. He does all the little things I love in order to keep me around. Its almost like he studies me, he try to learn what makes me tick/pisses me off, so he can do those things to me and then make it better. We do not live together, but we spend quite a bit of time together.

Him and I started out as strictly sexual, at this time he insisted that he doesn't date, and only has sexual relationships.

He told me he is a sex addict and I am not his gf, we are just good together and not labeling our relationship is the way to go.

But treating me like a gf the whole time. He refers to me as his "girl" or that we are "dating". We have been "dating" now for over a year.

Basically.....his ex left him 3 years ago, and he is still trying to figure out why anyone would leave him...so I assume, by not admitting I'm his gf, this will save him the embarrassment, when I leave....he can say, "she wasn't my gf anyway". I'm guessing he uses this ego to mask his self esteem. Until all of the sudden, he joined the same sports team as me....(totally his idea) and we start spending a lot of time together.

I have met his family, been to family functions usual gf things.

I think he wants me to be his and only his, but is afraid when I realize I can do better, I will run away and he will be alone again?

He knows I had a rough childhood and im completely emotionally damaged....Im also guessing he uses this to his advantage.

I am currently in therapy trying to understand why it is so hard for me to leave, what do I do, it is taking over my thought process! He is not bad all the time, he just keeps me sucked in. HELP!