What Real Self Esteem Looks Like

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#1 Jul 21 - 7AM
blessingindisguise
blessingindisguise's picture

What Real Self Esteem Looks Like

I believe that real self esteem is a quiet confidence. I think it's knowing who you are and the value you feel within yourself. You know what you bring to the table. It's something that can't be harmed or taken away; it's something ingrained within yourself. You are comfortable in your own skin. It's true authenticity. The narc may have temporarily harmed your self esteem, but in my experience, as you heal and grow, your self esteem is also healed and becomes stronger than ever. I believe that is a gift in this experience.

Everyone on this website is here because they have the "real stuff" that the narc is so jealous of. A narc has to have the perfect "shell" on the outside and act as though they are better than everyone else because underneith that shell are scrambled eggs! They know this and are desperately trying to hide it. All of the arrogance and posturing is nothing but smoke and mirrors for the real mess that lurks on the inside of them.

It's easy for me to love and be good to people. From my family and friends to strangers, store clerks, etc., it feels good to me to validate and be good to others. Why? Because I am whole. I can share my joy, peace and happiness because it lives within me. This is true self esteem. This is something the narcs of the world will never have.

Jul 21 - 8PM
happysoon
happysoon's picture

what a wonderful post! I feel

what a wonderful post! I feel like printing it and hanging it up to remind myself what we are even though we may have forgotten because of the Narcs... Thank you for posting!
Jul 21 - 9AM
Lisa87
Lisa87's picture

Beautifully Said

We rock!! We are truly the ones with self esteem intact. I don't need to schmooze or charm everyone I meet to put on an act that I am great. That is what my N did, everywhere we went, and everyone fell for his charm and generosity...who wouldn't? Makes sense that they seek us out to make them feel whole. I had the confidence (most of the time) but also was very vulnerable when we met. Once I was back on my feet and had the confidence it seemed to entice him even more to keep trying to get back. Damn scrambled eggs for brains these quacks have!
Jul 21 - 9AM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Wonderful post

So true, and thanks for sharing. God bless, Goldie
Jul 21 - 8AM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Nicely said.......... We need

Nicely said.......... We need to remind ourselves of our value every day.
Jul 21 - 8AM
FreedomJane
FreedomJane's picture

Oh that's just beautiful!

Thank you for sharing this wonderful post today. All this time, I thought I was in a shell because that's where I was put (by him!)... but in actuality, I had something so dynamic, colorful and bright that he wanted me in his narcosphere. When I pulled away slightly, he dismissed me. And now he's on to his next victim... I bet she has a beautiful soul too.
Jul 21 - 7AM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

blessingindisguise

Beautiful post, brought tears to my eyes, I know who I am, but the sad thing the NARC will NEVER know who he is, thanks to his mother.they are shells of human beings, like picking up a hermit crab shell that has been abandoned by the animal...