what physical symptoms did u have from the stress..

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#1 Sep 1 - 2AM

sweetsamm

what physical symptoms did u have from the stress..

I just got done reading the interview w elin woods in people mag and totally related to her hair falling out and no eating...during the worst part of our breakup i started getting these patchy bald spots and hair was falling out around my hairline also started having upper respiritory infections,im just wondering what physically happened to your body during the worst time...p.s...havent been sick in 5mos and my hair is growing crazy out of control...thank god!

#2 Sep 1 - 8PM

Jewwell

Shingles!

Last summer I got shingles. I don't wish shingles on my worst enemy!!

#3 Sep 1 - 11AM

NoNarcingZone

Symptoms

Anxiety, change in appetite, insomnia, bad dreams (when I did finally sleep), heart palpitations, digestive problems, loss of focus/concentration (dazed), intrusive thoughts, lack of motivation, temperamental...PTSD @ its worst. Debilitating. So glad to be past most of that! My toddler needed me. I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I use to be! ;)

-------------------------------------------
"Soldier, don't confuse your rank with MY authority!"

#4 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #37)

Goldie

Progress

Hi NoNarcingZone, Sounds like you have come a long way. A thought that came to my mind while reading your post was that they create an environment where we begin to disintegrate and then they look at us and say: what's wrong with YOU, YOU need to pull yourself together. I began to experience severe aniety attacks, sleeplessness, bouts of crying, anger, self doubt, and gained almost 20 pounds, and HE had the balls to say. What's wrong with YOU, YOU seem unhappy and Man I did not realize how old you look now. OH REALLY. Well guess what buddy, I don't look so old SINCE YOU BEEN GONE!!! Keep up the good work, it will only get better from here. God bless, Goldie

#5 Sep 1 - 12PM (Reply to #38)

terri

How many of us are out there?

Wow! More eerily similar experiences. Over the years, I've suffered migraines, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), weight gain and weight loss (usually during breakups), muscle aches from the tension and stress, skin rashes. Emotionally, I would suffer very bad moods that would affect relationships at work and with my children, trouble concentrating, memory lapses, sleepless nights, lethargy, and anxiety. The last time I saw my exN, he hatefully previous experience where I wasn't feeling well which affected his good time as "one of your many ailments". When I stop to think about it, I have had very few migraines (each one I've had since the breakup has been from contact with him), no rashes, no IBS, fewer aches and pains overall and I'm just in a calmer state of being. Isn't love and a healthy relationship supposed to improve your health and mental stability? Hmmmmm....

Believe in yourself!
Terri

#6 Sep 1 - 12PM (Reply to #39)

Used

terri

my ex used to tell people he couldnt work cos he had to look after his sick wife. yeah sick of him. the dog.

#7 Sep 1 - 11AM

frances

illness

while living with him and riding the crazy rollercoaster train i was extremely depressed and unhappy. i let myself go abit and had no desire, motivations to go out...connect with friends...towards the end it was living hell on earth. i told him being with him was liking dying a slow painful death. he literally sucked the total life out of me. i left him and moved back 3000 across country. it was such an instant relief. i went absolute NC and that allowed clarity and perspective. I than got the sickest i have ever been in my life and just am now bouncing back. i got upper resp infection, ear infections, the flu, bronchitis and than turned into pneumonia. the entire summer my sickness was never ending and a real drag as i was ready to move on with my life. mentally i was in a good place...physically i felt horrid. i really believe my immune system collapsed after leaving him. i was tired and worn out from the 4 years of insidious and covert mental abuse. my mom confirmed i had never been so sick for so long in my life. thank goodness i have bounced back. my periods are normal again after three years of abnormal...and ive gotten me back :) my sickness felt like my way of purging him....his lies, his cheating, his insidious behavior. horrid but necesssary getting sick.

#8 Sep 1 - 10AM

wholeagain

Pretty much the same stuff...

Anxiety/panic attacks, headaches, sleeplessness, couldn't concentrate, alcohol abuse, forgot things all the time (and I normally remember everything), hair loss, gastritis probably borderline ulcer. I'm surprised my skin didn't break out but I know I didn't have good color. Couldn't eat--lost weight to the point that I didn't look healthy. Couldn't concentrate enough to read a book for over a year (and I'm a voracious reader, normally). Was hypochondriac, which is probably no surprise when you feel like crap 24/7. I still get a pounding heart sometimes but everything else is on the mend. Just saw my therapist after a 3 month break and she thought I looked and seemed way healthier which was nice to hear :)

#9 Sep 1 - 12PM (Reply to #34)

terri

One more thing

...a BIG thing - I didn't smile and didn't have a happy demeanor. My friends and children have even commented on how they missed my smile. I look at pictures of me taken over the span of the relationship. From the earlier years, I had a relaxed look about me, pleasant smile and younger looking. Later picture, scowling, forced smile, stiff, and much older looking than my years. In some respects, I feel like I'm coming out of a coma.

Believe in yourself!
Terri

#10 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #29)

jen79

wholeagain

funny you mention that with not reading a book. I didn't read novels for over year, I just couldn't handle it. Mostly they are about any kind of drama or even worse love stuff. I had already enough drama and pain, didn't need any reminder or trigger through a book. I had problems watching tv as well, I just started it recently again, I didn't watch for over 9 months. Cause He is in every damn TV show. So I had to laugh today when reading Elin Woods didn't see a single Golf play once since.

#11 Sep 1 - 1PM (Reply to #33)

alma25

books,tv, cinema

before I met him I was this type who loved everything connected with culture: books, poems, cinema, tv, magazines. For the past I couldn't watch tvgo to the cinema. I couldn't watch even a half of the film. I couldn't read. I tried,really, I was buying books but I could read only a few pages. Funny thing but when I went to the bookstore for the firt time after some time (and I love books and can spend every money on them) to buy a nice book as a gift for myself I chose the one of his favourite author.I read two pages and started crying.

#12 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #30)

Used

before

before i met him, i read book, at least one a week, i went out socially, i watched tv, i communicated with other people, i went to a social club, all these things i gave up to be with him and give him my attention. i read 2 books a month ago, reading another now,first time in 2 1/2 years,i watch tv if i did watch with him it was what he wanted to watch, my home my tv his rules. i even got my first computer and internet for him. well thats backfired on him, i wouldnt have known this forum. what and who i gave up for him is mindblowing. if i was out and was talking to someone he would stand there with his arms folded. they would leave. when he said to me one day, you must realy piss your freinds off they rush by now with a quick hi, yes cos i was with him. i suppose my real defining moment was year 2 i didnt renew my contract for the internet, and didnt by use my pc anymore till i bought a new one last year after i finished with him.he even used to turn my heating down when i was out of the room,cos i like to be warm, he likes to be cold. i lost my self completly and from now on i will consider those 4 1/2 years with him, as my wilderness years.

#13 Sep 1 - 12PM (Reply to #31)

wholeagain

Wilderness Years / Books

Used, I like your comment about the wilderness years. I'd have to think of mine as the domesticated decades, I became such a housecat completely stripped of my wild nature and intuition. Too much shopping and soap opera drama, not enough driving through the desert or camping in the mountains. When I told them how distressed I was at not being able to read, my bff and boyfriend helped me by starting a competition, whoever reads the most pages between June 1 and January 1 wins and gets a prize. Neither of them knew me well before all the drama so little do they know what a reader I really used to be! When I got to 5,000 pages (in fairness I'm not working full time right now so had time) they both folded :) Anyway I've slowed down but that was all I needed to get my mojo back, I'm enjoying that so much now. Very grateful to them for giving me a boost. And I guess I'm pretty competitive! Jen, even books about drama/love etc. but mostly I'm choosing other stuff. LOL I lived it why read about it? I could write the book! We all could.

#14 Sep 1 - 12PM (Reply to #32)

Used

wholeagain

my shrinks all 4 of them, yes 4 shrinks, 3 psycoligists and 3 therapists couldnt put me back together again. this is the first year for!! drumroll!!!!. 36years i havent been in therapy.how incredible is that. in october last year, i finished with both n,s. and came out of therapy too. i still get bad frightened days, days that i want to not go through again.and think i cant do it. then i get back on the horse. sorry ive gone off the subject, out of those 10, above, 6 told me to write a book about my life. and given what they must hear, it says something .

#15 Sep 1 - 10AM

helldweller

Depression, anxiety, panic

Depression, anxiety, panic attacks, pancreatitis, high blood pressure, alcohol abuse, hair loss, insomnia, nightmares, weight gain, fear of heights which I never had before

#16 Sep 1 - 6AM

Alibi_10

Panic attacks

Feeling sick. ... can't concentrate. ... headaches. The worst thing is not being able to eat. Weight dropping off me. But does anyone else get panicky about NOT hearing from these jerks again? That is what freaks me out, I feel like a junkie needing a fix and my heart is racing. But why would I think I can't live without him? Is it better to be a bit lonely. . I have loads of friends and family who love me. ... but I liked sharing with him before the mask fell off. So depressed. ...

#17 Sep 1 - 6AM (Reply to #22)

Used

alibi_10

i believe the panic attacks and anxiety [for me] are b/c tho iam away from him, something can trigger me, a place, an event, and i feel so panic stricken , if i am out i have to come home, i see n quite a lot about, he makes sure i do, somedays it has no effect, other days it does, i think it is where i am in my head at the time, if i am feeling a bit vunrable, thats when it hits most, but in all the time i have seen him[iam nc for nearly 11mnths]. i still havent wanted to be with him, or go back with him. i can play what a day with him was like and that is enough for me to remember it all was crap, even the days that were "GOOD". were false, b/c he was behaving himself, knowing there were some days i wouldnt put up with the crap, the whole thing with him was an illusion, and knowing that is enough for me.

#18 Sep 1 - 8AM (Reply to #23)

OriginalMe

USED

Yesterday was particularly tough for me. I was feeling vulnerable and low. Started thinking about the "good" him and missing him terribly. I know that I would not go back to the craziness, but yesterday I was so incredibly sad and for a moment wanted him back - and I don't know why.

"Be who you are, and say what you feel; for those who mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

#19 Sep 1 - 9AM (Reply to #26)

Used

brad2723

i am sorry to hear things are tough, and you will miss him,this is what i was told when i said i missed him once, no you dont you miss the situation, well i pondered over this for ages, and my conclusion was i missed , what i thought it was it wasent ,in my head i choose to ignore all the horrible parts and think of the good, a freind told me to write out the good and bads i think there were three goods, i cant even remember now, but the bads went into double figures. there was no good days, just good acting days.xxxxx

#20 Sep 1 - 9AM (Reply to #24)

jen79

Brad

thats pretty normal, I guess we all here can relate. If I cry, I cry for the loss of the man I thought he is. Thats the man you have to bury infact. It's like he never existed, and he didn't, but your love was. Your love was real. I try to imagine, the man I loved has died. It is easier for me to cope with it like that.

#21 Sep 1 - 1PM (Reply to #25)

ShaynasMommy

Yes, the man has died

That man we all thought he was did die, in fact, long before we ever laid eyes on him. Its no wonder my ex's favorite pastime was shooting zombies on the computer late at nite. They were the only "people" he could relate to.

#22 Sep 1 - 6AM (Reply to #21)

gettinbetter

Yes its the worst addiction

Its the worst addiction ever!

#23 Sep 1 - 5AM

aceonelady

physical symptoms

First i was crying for about a year and a half daily,hours....then i would sleep ,hours...i gained weight,my diabetes got worse...back ache,concentration problems,couldn't even go outside for groceries...my ex husband did it for me....then imsonia,blatter infections...fever....if i had to go to the psychologist i had to make myself mentally ready a day before....my ex husband told me i wouldn't make till christmas...so i went to the gym,almost could.t walk and started 3 months ago working out...first 1 day at week now i am 6 days a week...i am looking good again,i am NC for 1 month but i still have back aches,imnsonia and concentration problems...and feeling empty inside i am on an automatic pilot what i do what i have to...the household,shopping ...you do not see on the outside anymore i am looking vry good but inside...well i will get better there too...and my pic is on my story....

Aceonelady

#24 Sep 1 - 3AM

jen79

I lost 20 pounds

I lost hair, stomach ache, insomnia, tired all day, couldn't work, couldn't concentrate, my memory is not working well since, I have hard time to remember things, my skin, jesus, my skin, allergies and spots, and not to mentions this pressure on my chest every moment, this tension, I was a bone with skin. He really sucked the life out of me litteraly, I lost my beauty, my health and my strength. It gets better now. I remember him saying, oh your eyes look so sad - uhm sorry you ajfjkajakjdakjÃ¶dklj that I don't look happy after all you've done to me.

#25 Sep 1 - 10AM (Reply to #12)

cluelessuntilnow

Symptoms of Stress

Tired all day, could not concentrate, crying at the drop of a hat, oh and a weight on my chest that I could not lift. Literally like a brick on my chest for months on end. Some of this still goes on.

#26 Sep 1 - 10AM (Reply to #13)

jen79

does anyone of you know

from where this weight or pressure on the chest arise from? I read this so often now, and I ask myself what happens in the body exactly for us feeling this weight on the chest. I mean this is the most disturbing thing for me. It is better now, but I don't put my hand on the fire for it not coming back. Especially when I dreamed of him - I wake up and I am just an ocean of emotions, no clear thought possible - just a emotions...

#27 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #15)

cluelessuntilnow

jen79

Just googled it. The weight on your chest is a symptom of grief. It is literally grief. Read this quote I found "Grief is like having a heavy weight on your chest. You have trouble breathing. Sometimes your body takes deep sighing breaths in an attempt to get more oxygen. Sometimes you have anxiety attacks. And your heart actually aches. The location of your grief spot is right under your sternum close to your heart. Itâ€™s no wonder that your chest hurts."

#28 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #18)

jen79

cluelessuntilnow

Thanks, I guess that's the hormon inbalance when you grieve. I read somewhere that for the brain psychological pain is the same as physical. I am the living proof of that.

#29 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #16)

Used

grief

omg , they put me on steriods for complaining about a weight on my chest, and pumps. grief , sent me for chest xrays. i no longer take steriods and occasionally use the pump. my freind said its like a berevment, i didnt take heed of her. i feel now i have come thru the tunnel and come out the other side. b/c i finished it, i didnt see why i would be grieving. it was my choice, but was it? he left me no choice i had to do it or die in the attempt. thank you.

#30 Sep 1 - 11AM (Reply to #17)

cluelessuntilnow

used

Google "weight on chest" and grief.Or signs of grief or acute grief response. It is pretty much in every symptom list. Unbelievable that I did not figure it out until Jen79 asked if anyone knew and I googled it. I have been living with this in various forms for a year. It is less now but I still feel it.

#31 Sep 1 - 10AM (Reply to #14)

cluelessuntilnow

weight on your chest

I have no idea but it was the most identifiable and consistent sign of my stress and my grief and hurt and sadness... need I go on. I always wondered if it had to do with my heart being so broken. Sounds pathetic I know. But it was real.

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