What Makes a Narcissist eventually stop using you as supply?

oh, boy. when do they stop? i don't know. it makes no sense, it is no sense. if you are standing there, they will try to mess with you. i can't really even think of what it's like except like the bully on the playground or some drunk kid trolling for chicks in the parking lot of a nightclub after everyone's gone home. it's sick, meaningless and random. it's just random. never mind my children's lives he destroyed, my future, my hopes and dreams, his baby i miscarried or the woman he just screwed five minutes before he came home. if he drives up to go into his house thirty feet away and i'm sitting outside, i'm fair game. he'll stick his hand up my skirt and see what happens. completely random. there's that saying: throw shit at the wall and see what sticks. that's how they roll.

I always wondered as to why he always came back and still does. I was so blind the past 5 years as I think he was cheating and lying to me the entire relationship. We'd break up numerous times and get back together. Maybe he saw this as normal as he always said" i"m not doing anything wrong". And b/c he has been so delusional, it's acceptable behavior since I never knew anything and therefore he can always come back to me cause I always "allowed' him back even though I knew nothing about his lies and cheating.

When they have better supply from someone else they don't come back. If their supply is not as new as it was, they will see if they can get an ounce of supply from you too as a backup. It's all a sick game to feed their ego.

Mine will not be back- he is very fearful I will expose him for who he is to the 'new life' he has created- one where almost everyone thinks he is so wonderful. he has new supply now- poor woman just out of a divorce with kids mine D&D me a few times- usually he will be very nasty and blame everything on me when he has someone new in his life... and then cut me off. This last time he would have kept me hanging on if he thought I wouldnt be such a high risk. his last words to me where - when I am in your life you are always hurt by me- I dont mean for it to happen but it does. then he got all nasty and hung up. He has many Xgf just like me - he would tell me stories about how things ended and how they nevr spoke again (I am on that list now) some xgf he does keep in contact with- but I will never be one of those. “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”

My ex-P was all about burning bridges. (he was more of a psychopath than a Narc, tho all psychopaths are narcs) Instead of apologizing and saying "I'm sorry I wasn't clear with you that I already had a girlfriend",or trying to make amends, or apologizing for hurting my feelings--my ex-P told me not to call him AT HOME. Now I realize that was his way of accidentally talking to the OW. After the D&D, after I found out he ALREADY had a girlfriend--I told him he had acted like a lying, arrogant jerk. I told him that people can do mean things, but they apologize. He still justified himself, saying that being a teacher justified his bullying. I took him to task for his behavior, speaking clinically and coldly. He even had the nerve to say he NEVER had considered me his friend (tho for the past 3 years I had seen him as a friend) I told him I don't throw people away like trash. I got him to admit he was a fake. I tried to get him to see others viewed him. After D&D, I basically went NC to him. Then he gave the insult to add to injury... since I had used him as a personal reference for a teacher program, I got a call late at night, and one of the professors in the program said I was "dangerous to children" and that I had to "be professional and not tell anyone." Yes, a professor (my ex-P) having the NERVE to try to ruin me professionally. I assume that was his way of trying to get me to pay attention to him. Still, I gave him NC. Emotional vampires fear honesty just like mythical vampires fear the sunlight.

When I think my XN is gone forever and will never contact me again-he sends me a txt or a picture of himself as if it's a gift. My XN has been predictable. He'll txt either monday or tuesday every 3 weeks or so. Never on weekends or night, always in the morning when he's bored or when it's raining. I'm hoping he'll find a permanent supply so he can forget me altogether.

ACgirl-- hello. I wanted to respond to your question. I've been with two narcissists in my life. They were different. The first one was the kind that kept coming back, but then, I kept allowing him to come back and I never had the guts with him during our relationship to really tell him what I thought for fear of abandonment. So it went on and off for nearly two years. The second narcissist came into my life about twelve years after the first, and the second one is a malignant narcissist, a truly sadistic individual. I did tell him what I thought. I wrote about it in my blog. He found my blog, I'm sure of this, and I'm sure he did not at all like what I have written, even though I never used his name. So, he tried to come back into my life, but he wanted to treat me like a prostitute. Actually, he literally asked if I would be that for him. He asked if I would be one of his nude models and I didn't even know he had any!!! He said he would pay me for sex if I could leave my emotions aside and also, not believe anything he said. This man was 62 at the time so we are not talking about a young stud here. Still, love is love, and I had really loved the man. It was hard not to consider his offer b/c at the time I was missing him so much and craving the love I lost. Thank God I said no to his requests. Eventually, I told him exactly and clearly all that I really thought of him, like that he is a low life, a liar, a cheater, a hypocrite, a bigot, a loser, and a thug, just to mention a few names I called him. And he listened! I don't know why he listened but he sure did. He ended up offering to help me die when I told him right before Christmas last year how depressed I was. Said he would come here and help me die! Then he said it would not bother him if I did. So, I think if you tell them what you really think, I mean, not the loving them but about what liars and losers they are, perhaps they do not try to come back after this. But I can't be sure. I believe this is why mine did not try to come back. If I had not told him all of those things, I am sure he'd still be trying to see me, use me and tear me apart. I said no. I told him I refused to see him on his slave-live terms. I told him I had other people in my life who treated me with respect. He was very jealous. He hated me saying no. He hated that I chose to spend time with a good friend when he had time off and wanted to see me. Saying no to the narcissist really turned him off or as he said, "I said things that put him off." Well, good for me! ~~~~~~~~ My Blog

In my case, the N kept d&d me and coming back. This went on for 8 years because I allowed it. The cycle has now been broken because after the last d&d I stayed NC. He tried to reach me at first (texts, e-mails, cards, and gifts) but I completely ignored them. I told him the last time I saw him that he would never see me again. I think the N tries to come back when there is no other supply source, and if he finds none with you he will probably move on permanently.

I think sometimes they come back and sometimes they don't. They aren't all EXACTLY the same. I think No Contact is the only way to ensure they never come back.