What the hell

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Sep 3 - 3PM (Reply to #6)
Whattoexpect
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Someone told me they really

Someone told me they really don't have a concept of time , like we do, is that really true?
Sep 3 - 3PM (Reply to #7)
Anabelle
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i believe it's the idea, that

i believe it's the idea, that they think, it's possible to continue where they have left the story as they want, because they are even superior over time... my ex n always told me: time will heal... and with time things go calmer and you can approach people again... OMG now I understand what did he mean... horrible arrogance and coward thinking. It's all about avoiding conflicts and getting you again WITH TIME-When you are not hurt anymore again...
Sep 3 - 3PM (Reply to #8)
Whattoexpect
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So they go on their marry

So they go on their marry little way and wait till they think you don't hate them anymore? And when the feel it is SAFE they try to come back?
Sep 3 - 4PM (Reply to #20)
FINALLYFREE2BME
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Whattoexpect

This is probably the start of a whole new thread (and I'll make one if you want), but you've hit a point that's been on my mind ALOT. I've always wonderful if indifference is safe? Is staying a bit angry protection? Alot of us won't know until the time comes and we're confronted with the N in 3,4,5,...20 years.
Sep 3 - 4PM (Reply to #22)
Whattoexpect
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I think a little anger is

I think a little anger is good, keeps us from forgetting what we went through and hopefully keep us from going through it again
Sep 3 - 4PM (Reply to #21)
Whattoexpect
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Feel free to start the thread

Feel free to start the thread I would love to see the responses to it, but some of what i read , they make contact within weeks not just years, so another thing would be to ask how long did it take the little shit to contact you after the D&D
Sep 3 - 3PM (Reply to #9)
Anabelle
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You nailed it

Welcome on board sister ;) Only... they don't come back. They come to visit....
Sep 3 - 5PM (Reply to #17)
Unfreakinreal
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They sure do Anabelle...

Now you know whet I got my name... Who comes to your job, asks you to lunch, tells you that he needs to be alone to find out what he really wants (knowing full well he can't be alone for more than 5 minutes), leaves you in pieces with another half day of work left and then shows up the next day at your house, only to leave in a rage because you had the audacity to ask why the hell they are here? Ohhhhhh yes, they ALWAYS come to visit. Pricks.
Sep 4 - 3AM (Reply to #19)
Anabelle
Anabelle's picture

What I meant was, that they

What I meant was, that they do not come back to love you. Just to visit you to leave again. Sometimes when I read here after what kind of things did they just appeared after years and how :O I don't think I will ever be able to get this...I had an other N before, who appeared after 3 years texting me that I am the ideal woman for him, someone who he still dreams of... sure I am... I so agree with you.... pricks
Sep 3 - 5PM (Reply to #18)
Whattoexpect
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Do they really show up un

Do they really show up un announced????? I honestly do not see my ex doing that shit, he seems like the tough type , but he is a coward deep down inside.
Sep 3 - 3PM (Reply to #10)
Whattoexpect
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Thank you . I think I'm ganna

Thank you . I think I'm ganna like it here! How many have had the "pleasure" NOT of these people returning after they got dumped? THE COME TO VISIT? whats up wth that shit?
Sep 3 - 3PM (Reply to #11)
Anabelle
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:)

You cant trust them. It's not about you. It's not that he comes back to you. He comes back for what you provide. Once you run out of the source they will be off again. Or they are not even interested. just want to check it, if you are still jump for their bullshit. AND you are going to LOVE it here. :)
Sep 3 - 4PM (Reply to #16)
Whattoexpect
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I already do live it here lol

I already do live it here lol honest answers is what i need right now
Sep 3 - 4PM (Reply to #12)
Whattoexpect
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i did everything for this

i did everything for this man, he is in his 50's , i never lived with him , but helped him with his kids, I mean everything, made him breakfast every morning, woke him up with , well use your imagination lol , had his back, he had it made with me , did everything he ever asked of me and then some! He lost a good thing and he will not ever get it back!
Sep 3 - 4PM (Reply to #13)
Anabelle
Anabelle's picture

i hope so

Focus on how great you are in a relationship and how much do you have to give. Soon you gonna find someone who appreciates it and provides the same. Leave the N alone... that's what his kids are planning to do as well :)
Sep 3 - 4PM (Reply to #14)
Whattoexpect
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i know i am a loving caring

i know i am a loving caring compassionate woman, I will never I don't care how f&*% up some one is, they will never take that away from me, because if they did that means they win! I'M OT A LOSER! not to no man! His loss my gain! and his kids are now teenagers and they cannot wait to move the hell out!
Sep 4 - 4AM (Reply to #15)
Bitter-sweet
Bitter-sweet's picture

It is those qualities: being

It is those qualities: being loving, caring and compassionate that you need to focus on and your healing. It is natural to worry about a possible return of the N -but also pointless. Mine came back 25 years after our first relationship (nothing in between). This triggered a second brief relationship (I was very young the first time- knew nothing of Ns). After the very messy end of our second time together, he got in touch again after 3 weeks then 6 months (I knew to stay NC this time). When a relationship with an N ends, for a while we hope we mean something to them and so, we think their return proves this. It is dangerous thinking. It is best just to focus on ourselves. If they do reappear, we deal with that then or rather we don't- because it's NC.