What is everyone's profession here and how is your career going?

I'm a computer-aided designer (technical drawings and designs), and I run a drafting department. I had been in my career field for many years before I met xnh. I, also, was working with my current employer well before I got tangled up with xnh, and I owned my own home long before him as well. We still work at the same company, though, sad to say. During our 16-year relationship, the constant toxic NPD behavior, the fighting, the chaos, and the drama from both xnh and his hideous P daughter took a serious toll on my self-esteem, health, and emotional state in my personal life. Home was NOT a place of peace for me living with those two disordered people. My job was somewhat the "sanctuary" that I drew strength from during my relationship with xnh. It was the one area in my world that remained consistently "mine", and provided me with a positive source of self-esteem. I knew I could still do my job well and feel really good about it. Xnh did not have the power to ruin that within me. He, also, didn't seem to tear me down professionally as badly as he did personally. I'm guessing that he was afraid that if I didn't have my job, it would hamper his own money source. To this day, I think xnh may miss my wallet being available to him, but he doesn't really miss me. I don't think he ever bothered to know the real "me". "Me" never mattered to him, only "him", and how much NS I gave him. Since xnh cheated, D&D'd, and I divorced him, I'm relatively sure xnh would dearly love to trash me completely, and leave me destroyed in a ditch somewhere. I supposedly "threw him out for NO reason." lol. Going NC and removing myself from xnh's control, in every way possible, seems to irk him to no end. :) Because I've filed three harassment charges against him at work since the divorce, xnh now knows that if he disparages me on the job, or he comes near my work area in the future, he will be reprimanded in writing by management. If he continues harassing, he's been told that he could be terminated. Management has moved me onto a completely separate floor of the building to get me away from xnh while at work. Moving my office certainly makes NC much easier for me to maintain now, and I'm MUCH happier never seeing or hearing him. I've gone for over a month without seeing so much as a glint of xnh's bald head. BLISS!! Xnh and I do not work in the same field, so I never actually have to work "with" him. I can now come to work, do my job (not harassed by xnh), and anything else concerning me is none of xnh's business. Bad-mouthing me only makes xnh look petty and small (and reprimanded). In my opinion, xnh is already petty and small, both "down below" and mentally. He's only a giant within his own mind. rofl

Project Manager in the software industry. it has affected me at times when I have not been able to concentrate and making mistakes. Sometimes though, the job has saved me by being extremely busy. When I met the Narc, I just sold my web design company, I was the webmaster for Merck (part-time) on the West Coast, and web manager for another healthcare company. I had my you know what together. Now...I just work from home in this role. Been on the same project for 4 yrs. Been receiving raises when no one else has, and most importantly, I am home here for my 13 yr old son. From that, I've been able to focus on us instead of just being a zombie going to and from work. I feel very blessed in having my job and it providing my lifestyle. I wish I had the desire to move further ahead in the company. Right now, I am in the safe zone.

I own my own business and have suffered greatly over the last couple of years. Part of it is the economic effects on the industry I'm in, but the N contributed in a big way, too. First, by making himself the priority while we were spending time together. Second, by being so low and lacking in confidence after the D&D and finding out what he was to be able to even think of stomaching the rejection that goes with securing new customers as the normal economic effects took over. It has been a VERY long road back. Fortunately, I'm good at handling my money so I was able to allow myself time to work through my personal issues. I really thank God for that because there's no way I would be back to the person I am today without letting that process take place. I am FINALLY feeling really good again (1+ yr NC, 19mos after D&D). I've had some sort of breakthrough in the last couple weeks that has really allowed me to move forward. I'm studying for an exam that will make me feel better about the base of my company. Once that's done, I can get back out there again and work on securing new business. I look back at how I let him control soooo much of this aspect of my life and it makes me sick!!! I am a great business person who has always been professionally successful and I'm just glad that I can once again trust my judgment in that area (he derailed that for a while, too). Better things are coming!

Take one guess,,,,,,a nurse, can you imagine. I am a codependent ex nurse. Working actively on those issues. I will never take care of a grown man again.

I wish I had still been a stay at home Mum this last year but my kids are grown up and no longer live at home! Maybe I would be in a better place right now. I worked at a University as a Support Worker for people with physical and mental health problems. The N was a mature student who befriended me at work by getting close to one of the students I was supporting at the time and claiming that if anyone could really help him with the problems he had in his life, I could. As soon as he had me under his spell he abandoned the other student claiming he had wronged him in some way or other (Ignored alarm bells!) I left my job at that University because of what he did to me and went to work on another campus supporting another student with borderline personality disorder. I thought I was coping alright but when that student decided to abandon the course, I decided I wasn't in a fit state to do this job at the moment, especially dealing with people with mental health issues at the moment. I lost my confidence in my ability to do my job, I lost my trust in people and am very wary about meeting new people. I haven't worked since January and I'm not sure what the future holds as far as work is concerned. I may still be approached in September by the University to work again when they get the new intake of students so I'm waiting to see how I feel by then. At the moment I know I couldn't cope. I've never been a career-driven person, my dreams have been more family centred but the N has managed to interfere with that too as I can't talk to anyone in my family about what happened to me. All they know is that I once had a very dear 'friend' who is no longer there. Not being able to talk to anybody close to me is what huts and makes me feel unbearably lonely sometimes. Hope you're coping better than I am and managing to achieve your dreams.