What to do when your family whole family is sick?

I don't want this to be "my story" and I will try to briefly tell you how my narc. Biological continues to cause me pain. Sorry that it is so long, and hope it makes sense. It's been a long weekend and need to get it out!

I always thought the early part of my childhood was great, but I now realize that it was until my oldest brother Mario got married. Mario was my rock. He could see what others could not or were not willing. I remember him saying, “Who upset Melanie?” After he got married, my mother had an affair, and left me with a father who was mentally unstable, and two other brothers. (One who has developmental issues.) We were on welfare for years, and then my father went on disability. Lots of drama there, including my younger brother sexual abuse. At this point I was having medical issues, but nothing was about me.

At the age of 15, I moved in with my mother. Boy was that a mistake. Her new husband was an alcoholic and my life got worse. “It was all about her.” I always felt different, had a hard time in school, and never dealt with the sexual abuse. I repressed. The next few years I lived with friends, and got an apartment at the age of 16, but only lasted six months due to medical issues. My mother gave me nothing. At the age of 17 I was living with my friend who was is like a mom to me, she is the person my daughter calls “grandma.” One morning I got a call. My brother Mario had died. Mario committed suicide. I felt like it was a nightmare. Mario moved out of state, and we were not as close aw we were. He did not talk to my mom until the year before he died.
My sister gave her kids up when they were young. (I was in my teens) she has always been the “golden child” My mother always made excuses for her, and how they were “taken away.”

There has been so much drama in between. I have tried so many time to have a relationship, but I can no longer deal with the drama. My parent physically abused one another, but now my father comes over for the holidays, but there is still so much drama.

It’s like my brother Mario never existed. Mario never was… I do resent my mother for my brother’s death. She never changed, and nothing positive came out of his death… She didn’t pull the trigger; however, my brother called her the day before for help. He asked her for something, and my stepfather said no. My brother never asked my parents for anything. Mario delivered papers at the age of 13, and always helped my family. My parents never grew up. He had to be the man of the house. He got married, and his family was everything. His wife was a sociopath, destroyed him. He never developed effective cooping skills because he was busy being the man of the house. Sorry if it sounds like psycho babble, I was a psych major)

I guess my main point of this post is how do I tell my story? I had many psychiatric hospital admissions in my teens. I was the one that was “crazy.” It turns out that my daughter and I share a very rare chromosome disorder, and it always was neurological. I would most likely be in the autism spectrum today. My daughter has autism, and she has taught me so much. She is very atypical. She is so much like me, very sensitive and empathetic. The neglect effects me to this day. I should have had physical therapy due to lower body weakness.

Yesterday, I received an email from the brother that abused me. I haven’t heard from him in over ten years. Last month I went no contact with my mother. (Haven’t talked to my father in 3 years). My mother and brother who lives with mom acts like I am stalking them. My brother admitted that hey were driving by my apartment, and told them I would get a restraining order. My other brother threatens restraining order for me, so I told him PLEASE go get one so I don’t have to. He said I cause mother to much stress. I just want to be left alone. I am tired of the lies, them twisting things around, and making it look like I am the one that is crazy. I know they are fearful about what will come out and exposing the truth.