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Welp--I sent the goodbye letter!!!

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#1 Dec 16 - 9AM
Deidre99
Deidre99's picture

Welp--I sent the goodbye letter!!!

Just super quick update...I'll be back later. I wrote a thread last night, about sending a letter...should I or shouldn't I? And you all said not to. I totally agree with your sentiments...BUT...I wrote it and sent it via email just now. What dawned on me everyone is this. It's not about his reaction, or his non reaction. It's about my declaring to him...whether he cares or not...I AM CLOSING THE DOOR. GOODBYE. IF YOU WISH TO CONTINUE THIS, I WILL NOT BE RESPONDING ANYMORE.

I said nice things, too. He was helpful to me in different areas of my life when I needed it. But, he had a very dark side...he was a narc, but I wonder if everyone saw that side....or do these people only reveal that side to those they think they can get away with it on? I think the latter.

I no longer want to be checking my emails 24/7. I may actually dismantle that email. I no longer want to be checking my phone...IT'S DONE. I'M FREEEEE!!!

I really feel free. I did this for me. To close the door once and for all...on someone who treated me like I was beneath him. I did wish him well...and that I'd pray for him. I pray truly? That he gets some help. Maybe he will fall madly in love with another woman someday, and she will leave him...and he will finally see the pain he causes. We should pray for our narcs. They need help, and let's pray they stop hurting others.

God bless...and I'll let you know later if he replies. haha

Hopefully he doesn't. I really would prefer that over getting some silly email that tries to undermine me.

~D

Dec 16 - 10AM
ShaynasMommy
ShaynasMommy's picture

Im glad for you, Diedre

that you feel much better in sending that letter. I could sit here and tell you not to, but that would make me a hypocrite because I probably would have sent mine one, too. And if the slimebag ever had the balls to contact me, I would probably set him straight, and then tell him any further response from him would be a waste of his time and would only serve to make him look foolish, and then block his email. I can't blame you. Its the closest thing to closure you will ever get, and going NC for good after that is the BEST thing you can do for yourself. And Narcs hate being ignored and hate knowing that you had the final say and that youre DONE. No matter what you write, you will never change their opinion of you, because to a Narc, everyone else is a moron, trash, sluts, etc. and beneath them. So you might as well say what you need to say to feel better and make it final. I hope this is a big step to recovery for you and sending you warmth, luck, and big hugs. -J
Dec 16 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
Deidre99
Deidre99's picture

Thank you very much for

Thank you very much for this! Yes...I did it for me. Dare I say...I wanted to shut the door. He told me Monday and many times over the months...he thought we should go our separate ways. I'd say...me, too...and then he would do an about face and say...no, we should stay in each other's lives. Control freak. That's all they are. So, I personally wanted off the train ride...enough games. Enough analyzing. Enough trying to prove myself. Enough. I am seeing clearer by the day. {{{hugs}}}