Weird Encounter Confirms This Never Had Anything To Do With Me

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#1 Dec 19 - 3AM
It.Was.All.Abou...
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Weird Encounter Confirms This Never Had Anything To Do With Me

My last post of the same title contained so many typos that it was unreadable. Sorry! Tiny ipod keyboard. Here's a more readable version.

I work with the N.  She  can't be totally avoided. I went to my company Christmas party this weekend. I took an attractive woman with me.

At the last company event, the N was with her new workplace girlfriend, who, by all accounts,  is also an N. She didn't even acknowledge me. We politely acknowledge each other at work all the time.  I'm polite to everyone. Making an exception for her would be, in my opinion, supply.

At this latest party, she appeared to be alone. When she saw me, she swooped in on me, put her arms around me, pressed her body up against me, and while holding the back of my head, she spoke into ky ear. WTF, i ask you. She asked me if my date was my girlfriend. I said, "No, she lives in xxx (a faraway state)." The N knew who my date was and that she and i had a romantic relationship years ago. She continued to tell me how cute my date was and that she (the date) should be my girlfriend. Then she wished me luck with my date.  "good luck with your friend.  She's really cute...". 

I say to you sgain, WTF. It's a little infuriating as the N rejected me and is now wishing me luck.  Mire covert aggression disguised as graciousness.   Then she followed me to the bar and said "we should get together and talk about things."  meaningful things, she implied. What things, i wondered?   How she introduced me to my replacement and for the months i spent mourning the loss of someone who never existed, as i cried over her every day, she was fucking everyone and making it very obvious? Then she followed us around the dance floor, always making sure to be in my line of vision. It was crazy.

My friend and i acted with a maturity apropriate for our ages. We disn't really respond.  Didn't play anything up, didn't seem interested or repulsed.  Just ignored her. I like that i didn't lie. I didn't say this date was my girlfriend. I thought about ir, but why?  I didn't participate in any games.

Bottom line---it means nothing other than it suited her in some way for that moment. Tomorrow, she could pretend i'm stalking her or ignore me completely, which is why you just have to stay the fuck away from these narcs. They'll make you crazy.

And here's the wild thing. At work, most of the time), she appears sane, polite, soft spoken and kind. And she's highly competent.

Seeing her act so ridiculously was helpful. I am totally an object to her, a toy, to be used in any way that is convenient at the moment. It's sad. I won't feel as bad when I see her with the next workplace girlfriend, and the next, and the next, and the next...

Dec 20 - 7PM
It.Was.All.Abou...
It.Was.All.About.Her.'s picture

Update

I've now received two invitations to get together. Sigh. I think I'll say the following (remember, I work with her). I appreciate the invitation but after everything that's happened in the last year, I don't think getting together would be good for me. Vague, but direct and non combative Thoughts?
Dec 21 - 6PM (Reply to #7)
jackguy
jackguy's picture

sounds like a good way to go

although she may try and debate with you about what's happened in the last year..but it's not combative or giving her supply
Dec 21 - 7PM (Reply to #8)
It.Was.All.Abou...
It.Was.All.About.Her.'s picture

Yeah

I cut that part out, about what happened.
Dec 19 - 8AM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

You handled this matter with

You handled this matter with grace and dignity. Great job! She is in desperate need of help on so many diiferent levels. Steer clear of her. She is in my book, a black widow.
Dec 20 - 7PM (Reply to #5)
It.Was.All.Abou...
It.Was.All.About.Her.'s picture

Thanks, sparrow

Grace and dignity is the goal.
Dec 19 - 7AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

This person sounds very

This person sounds very mentally Ill.. Yuck! Hunter
Dec 19 - 5AM
jackguy
jackguy's picture

This reminds of that vaknin video

Where he talks about how narcs try to smother threats with charm, graciousness etc. The change from wishing you luck to an attempt at seduction right away show the panic within her-the flailing for control. I've been through it with a female narc and know how painful it is. Well done for how u handled it.
Dec 20 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
walking_on_sunshine
walking_on_sunshine's picture

gag lol

I cant stand woman like that. What you really want to say is "not with you, you pompus beech" lol.She sounds like a creature from hell.