we mut go against our caring /compasionate nature to protect ourselves from the Narc

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#1 Dec 22 - 6PM
Anonymous (not verified)
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we mut go against our caring /compasionate nature to protect ourselves from the Narc

I got some news last nite that if Narc were a normal human I would have reached out and offered my condolences for his loss as well as everyonelses. Instead I put on a hard shell and didnt let it pull at my heartstrings. This is what we must do to regain our lives. It still pulls on me a bit today..but I am keeping busy and reaching out to others affected by this news and not the Narc.

With the christmas holiday fast approaching we all have to do this as well. We cant extend the kindness that we have in our hearts to the N...we must put ourselves first.

If we contact the N he will only gloat or rage. It will show him our soft vulnerable side and we dont want that.

We all deserve to be happy this holiday season.

Last year XN had the nerve to text me on NYE saying he was praying for me. I threw the phone on the counter at the diner I was at with friends. That text was after he kicked me out of his life days prior. This year he wont get to me like that..for the N and the N only I put away my compassionate side this holiday season and give it only to those worthy of it.

Someone on another forum said to me once...we must suffer in silence without them knowing...I wouldnt call it suffering now...I call it living...living without the Narc.

Dec 22 - 6PM
Amazed
Amazed's picture

Cheers to you Destiny!!!

Cheers to you!!! Sooo glad to hear you have seperated that tender, campassionate, caring, and funloving side you have away from the Narc. Direct it elsewhere. To someone who can acknoledge, appreciate, and reciprocate that to you. Put the guard up STRONG. Do NOT be flexible with this one. He is out to get you. Out to get you unhappy, miserable, and manipulated. You are learned to protect yourself, and this quality in you. Protect it indeed, it is a valuable part of you, that the N will try to destroy. He has not such feeling. All his relationships are based, way based on somthing else. And that means hurting, using, and manipulating anyone. I am glad to hear you are breaking free! Free of his constraints. Free of his lies. Free of his misery. It TRULY is a LIFE you have regained!!!
Dec 22 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Thank You Amazed- with the

Thank You Amazed- with the holidays and the news I got yesterday it is nothing more than inner strength keeping me from contacting him. He is gaining great NS now comforting everyone I am sure of that...jumping right in to save the day and offer a shoulder or a phone call. I refuse to reach out though...actually I just cant. I cant reach out to someone that treated me so coldly ...who doesnt and never did care about me. So, much has happened within the last few weeks involving him and situations where I would have broke NC and somehow I just dont...I dont break it. the snow, the liscense plates(more tonite), this news, the holidays...and still I remain NC “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
Dec 23 - 7AM (Reply to #3)
4joys4
4joys4's picture

Yup. You got it! Mine always

Yup. You got it! Mine always says he's praying for me. He doesnt even believe in god. He uses god like he uses everyone else. Good for you. Make some plans for the holidays and dont pick up the phone.