A way to get thru the day..
A way to get thru the day..
I often say to myself “its not important that he hasn’t called me….whats more important is that I haven’t called HIM” and it gives me a reason to celebrate. You see, they EXPECT for you to call them They are so SURE OF YOU and when you don’t …you are proving them wrong! And that’s not whats important…what is important is that YOU have understood how important it is to NOT HAVE THEM IN YOUR LIFE!
Why? Because they will lie , gaslight, make you feel bad, control you, manipulate you , make you feel less of yourself, give you anxiety, second guess yourself, give you stomach aches cause you just KNOW somethings just not right etc. So why would I want him to call me??
What I look at is MY accomplishment at NO CONTACT for the past 25 days! Yay! I never went past 10 days before I either contacted him or he contacted me and I gave in.
He is not contacting me moreso because I exposed him to his current supply, I also ratted him out to his sons mother who did not know he had filed for disability/retirement, was receiving his pension, social security benefits for himself and his son (who he barely sees) and also disability insurance…I told her to go to SSI office and put herself as the trustee to receive his sons checks (mind you at the time he was behind 3 months child support).
He never expected me to turn on him this way. It was my way of sabotaging any future communications so that is good. But the bottom line is this…I am better off without him.
Ladies, remember how bad it felt! Be glad you don’t have to deal with the guessing, the wondering, the gaslighting , the anxiety. Be glad you smartened up and got out !
Will he call again? Maybe , maybe not…but it doesn’t matter! What matters is that with each day that you don’t call, don’t bother etc….you are gaining back the dignity you feel you lost….everyday of NC is an accomplishment!
So that’s how I get thru the days sometimes….its not that he hasn’t called me…its that I HAVENT CALLED HIM!!!
And you know what? I prayed everytime I felt pain, confusion, couldnt get out of bed...and I prayed "God I do NOT want to feel this way...I dont want to love this man...please take this away!" and it worked. I feel better every day
Its been 25 days that I have done NC...I never got past 10 days max without me reaching out or he reaching out...for what? Why bother? All you get is bullshit, anxiety, anger, self hate because you gave in too quick, etc....WHO NEEDS IT!!!
Same thoughts
Everyday
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Thanks