Was I dropped on my head??

Was I dropped on my head as a baby one too many times?? Otherwise I can not undertand why today of all days I am wondering if HE is okay with the kids, how HARD this must be on HIM, and how much I hurt HIM by telling what happened. Yeah prettty sure my mom cracked my head one too many times that would explain why I still have a relationship with her right??
There has to be some explaination for this craziness! I spent all day and night in bed sleeping. from the minute my mom picked the kids up for thier visit with him, i went back to bed and stayed there till the alarm went off this morning. Everytime i thought about getting up, i figured it would only lead to me doing something stupid so i stayed in bed. I dont think I have ever felt so alone.
Good thing i guess I am here today and my babies will be home in 10 hours. 10 hours f--- i shouldnt have counted it out!!!!!!!
I was reading Lisa's book again last night and I find it amazing how I have never met her but she wrote my life, your life everyones life, you go from being in a relationship feeling sooo alone to surfing the net one day just to see if you really are that crazy and boom, you meet the people you have always dreamt about, people that get it, people that understand, people that dont judge and people that care.
i need to get better, and i need to get out of this very dark place i have put myself. i am just not sure how this time.i feel completely depleted.