Was doing well, and now he's thrown me - Help!

I was doing so well for a while, and then tonight he hoovered again. Another little tick on a website posting I'd made and then I had a quick look at what he'd said...and there it was. The confession that the big hunky gym-goer who I fell for was, in fact, terrified when he first went to the gym, intimidated and didn't like it at all, and had to go to numerous classes where he felt less intimidated before he would dare set foot in the place proper.

And I realised that this tallies roughly with some of what he's told me. It could be true.

So suddenly I get to see his vulnerability and I found myself comparing the image in my head with the image now.

The image in my head is this big bruiser hunk, so bursting with confidence and self-assurance, someone I feel a certain resentment towards because I've found it hard to feel that way in the past (especially after he treated me so badly). I feel I need to be wary of him, to defend myself from this calm, infuriatingly-fearless and potentially violent THING who is just a bit bigger and stronger than me.

And suddenly I'm faced with this other image of him being so vulnerable and afraid, so...human...which has left me wondering if HE if afraid of ME. I've seen no evidence he's ever badmouthed me behind my back, he's never hinted about what happened between us, he's hardly shown the slightest hint of anger at me going NC. Is it instead that he's afraid I'll spill about what happened?

It's left me questioning so many things. I KNOW he's hurt me so badly, I KNOW he's kept things from me and lied to me, I KNOW he's shown little empathy and no remorse or any hint of apology, but now I find myself wondering if it's more fear of me than him being malicious.

Help me out here. Is it just more hoovering and manipulation?