Want your feedback on this one

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#1 Apr 14 - 10AM
terri
terri's picture

Want your feedback on this one

I've been quiet about the hoovering attempts but wanted to put this out to the group to get feedback. I went NC last September and have limited contact with the N - mainly due to running into him as he now only lives about 1/2 mile away. But there are constant attempts of hoovering by him. Most recently, I've gotten mysterious "butt dialed" calls from his cellphone. I'm writing them off as hoovering attempts. I'm thinking that he is making the call to tempt me to call him back with the "I got a call from you" or "there was a strange message that I couldn't understand."

I got one last night and there was a strange sound that I think was either him on a treadmill or on the eliptical workout maching at the gym. I could hear faint noise in the background and that was what it sounded like.

For anyone not familiar with the "butt-dial", it happens with these new smart phones that have touch-screens. If the screen gets touched accidentally it sometimes dials automatically (often happens when the phone is in your pocket or purse). However, the weird thing about this is since I'm not a frequently or recently dialed number, I think it's unlikely that my number would be the number to be butt-dialed. I think the call was made intentionally and staged to look like a butt-dial to get me to call him back. BTW, I didn't call back and have no desire to.

I'd love to hear your thoughts about if you think I'm right on this.

Apr 14 - 3PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Terri yes your gut is right.

Terri yes your gut is right. Years ago after a horrific d and d that was so bad I never called him again about 3 months after that he called one day and left a message on my machine congratulating me on my promotion as if nothing happened. He knew I would call back and within days he came over and was telling me he missed me. So yeah those calls are an effort to get you to respond.
Apr 14 - 2PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Terri

Mine did that before I knew what was going on. They are looking for a call back then he can devalue you. He'll say you are crazy ,I never called. DELETE,DELETE,DELETE Idealk
Apr 14 - 3PM (Reply to #6)
terri
terri's picture

idealk

Yes, that's what I'm thinking except I think my exN will say something like "I guess I must have butt-dialed you when I was...(fill in the blank). How have you been? How are the kids? Well, take care. Bye." We've had too many of those types of calls in the past. He thinks that kind of indifferent attitude from him will upset me and frustrate me into getting into a conversation about "us". That was the usual pattern back in the day. I think he's going to be the frustrated one this time when it doesn't work like it used to. Too bad narc - curses, foiled again!!!

Believe in yourself!
Terri

Apr 14 - 12PM
Steph
Steph's picture

Sounds like you're right on.

Sounds like you're right on. I doubt it was an accident. He wanted your attention. Good on you for not giving it to him!
Apr 14 - 12PM
Steph
Steph's picture

Sounds like you're right on.

Sounds like you're right on. I doubt it was an accident. He wanted your attention. Good on you for not giving it to him!
Apr 14 - 12PM
madashell
madashell's picture

Ignore it

It sounds like that`s what he`s trying to do,just ignore it!!!
Apr 14 - 11AM
Veronrose
Veronrose's picture

My girlfriend's smart phone

My girlfriend's smart phone butt dials me all the time. I don't have a smart phone, but twice my phone butt dialed two people (not the N thank God) that I had NO interest in talking to or trying to get attention from. I don't know how either one of them happened because you're right, a butt dial is usually a recently dialed number (as in my gf's case) but I had not dialed either of those numbers in months and months. In fact one of those people did not call me back and the other did (and I was like UGH!!!). Sooooooo, I guess it could go either way.