WalkingByFaith's Story

New Here--- Going Through It!

Hi everyone.

The name is Sarah. I am going through a separation with someone whom I have just discovered may have this personaility disorder. *sighs* Long story short, I am a Christian woman, we married after a few months of dating, (his controlling started early) and I allowed it because I "thought" this would work.

Well, he started off as this knight in shining armor then overnight transformed into this short tempered, "I'm not going to have it" type of man. Like I was literally walking on eggshells when it came to sharing my feelings with him. He would snap at me like I cheated on him with his father, brother, grandfather, you name it! And mind you, we share no children together, it would've been a year that we would have been married thi October on the 20th.

He just kept kicking me out and threatened "divorce" everytime we didn't agree on certain things like small, minor indifferences. He casts ALL blame on me for our divorce. He would own up to his wrongs, then turn them around and make them all my fault like this, "Well if you weren't so-- emotional, we wouldn't be having these problems"-- and truly ladies, I was only emotional due to his lack of his communication or love towards me. He truly would put me in this corner, wouldn't touch me, would basically would hold out on sex with me to make me feel bad that he paid for dinner that night or spent money on the kids or something "silly" like this. He would take out things on me that I would feel was unnecessary. I work with a really good company, I would pay half of the bills and wouldn't complain! He was all about controlling my money, my children (his step kids). He cussed at my son one time for not listening and I almost flipped but since he does with his child, his only daughter whom is now 11 (a whole different story) anyway, he would verbally cuss her out and make her cry sometimes. I don't know why all these red flags were overlooked!! I see clearly now that he and I are separated that he is truly a mean spirited perosn. He tried to isolate me from my family and I am BIG on family, whereas he hates to have anything to do with his family. BIG, BIG red flag. He treats his mother like mess. ANOTHER RED FLAG!

While separated, he would send me texts, "Come F*** Me" and I would run to him like a dummy because I needed it to. That card was played out once I started seeing that he was just using me to get off then he would kick me to the curb, "literally", he asked me to go home after he got his. I know ladies what you're thinking but this wensite is going to help me support-wise in getting adivce and possibly helping others with where they are in all of this "cycle". This man blamed me for his cheating on me all while separated, once he figured out I wasn't going to come give him sex after the last time he kicked me out of his home after "making love". He blamed me. He said, "You're to blame for not listening to me when I asked you to come have sex with me so I went and found someone that would", :you didn't SUBMIT to me so I had to". You can imagine how I felt hearing this. :( The endless cycle has been broken. Divorce has been filed as of May 13, 2013 and it's a 5-6 month waiting period before I get a court date. We filed "Pro Se", I don't have money for an attorney. Sucks! Anyway, I changed my number this past Friday because he won't stop texting me or calling me saying "I love You and I miss you"--- bologna! I also closed my Facebook since he would literaaly stalk away. Although he knows where I live so ladies, we'll see what happens in the next few weeks.

I just want you all to know that I've figured out why I clung to this man. And I am praying my way through this. I don't deserve to be treated this way and why would we settle for this kind of man--- there's deep rooted reasons why-- I have discovered a lot and I am a work in progress. Continue to pray ladies and if you all have any love or feedback for me, I am here. I don't mind constructive criticism.

- Sarah